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Dog ownership is hearing a gag from the dead of sleep and launching out of bed to move the dog to the bathroom before she vomits on the carpet
This is also cat ownership. :(
It’s hard getting back to sleep with all the adrenaline flowing.
I have a dust pan, like for sweeping, that I keep by the bed, I stick maxi pads to the flat part and use it to catch the barfs. Much easier than moving the horking cat.
This only works if you don’t have a cat that turns his head at the last second to avoid the vomit catching device.
Yeah why does my cat refuse to vomit on the floor and always does it on the carpet?!
My only guess is that cats are disrespectful arseholes. That’s why I like them though.
Ours is polite enough to only ever hurl onto surfaces that are easily cleaned.
Is my cat broken? He doesn’t vomit.
Just get yourself a carpet cleaner. Bissell makes some good ones.
“HURP. HURP. HURP. HURP.”
“OH JESUS CHRIST NO NO NO INTO THE KITCHEN PLEASE”
We’ve got a husky that views this as a “middle of the night” snack. He hears that “Hurp, Hurp” sound and IMMEDIATELY runs over to where the cat is. Full run at 2am He wants to be the first to savor the delicious hair sausage.
Well the phrase hair sausage is going on the list of fucking awful now.
Where was that phrase before?
Thankfully nowhere near me until today.
What a terrible day to have eyes
Does it ever work?
moments earlier, the cat hacked-up a hairball on the rug between the bed and bathroom for you to keep your feet warm with.
This is also cat ownership
Butter Packaging: Keep Refrigerated
Utterly deranged people: I’m gonna pretend I didn’t see that
he doesn’t have a French butter dish
Small amounts of butter is perfectly fine to leave at room temperature…but only if it’s salted. Unsalted butter will grow mold quickly, but salt will inhibit mold growth for quite a while. Unfortunately exposure to light and oxygen will cause it to turn rancid after 2 days, but it’s technically still edible.
I keep unsalted butter at room temp in a butter dish just fine.
I’m surprised modern salted butter has enough salt for that. Salted butter in the past was salty to the point of being inedible unless washed AFAIK.
That’s why I take my butter with me when stepping into the morning shower. Saves water, and you can snack a bit!
ew salted butter
Well I think unsalted butter tastes gross, but you do you I guess.
Wtf
Refrigerated butter: hard as a rock
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If you keep it in a butter dish it’s completely fine.
My cat is deaf and so you have to get up, EVERYTIME
Ours will jump onto the counter, and you can hear her because her back legs hit the cabinet door on her way up.
She knows she’s being bad too, because I’d hear her jump, go pick her off the counter, and set her somewhere else. Now, I’ll go to get her and she’ll be sitting on the floor like “What? I wasn’t doing anything!”
Parenting. It’s quiet… Too quiet.
The preview looked promising ;)
“nip is hearing a sin across the house WITH A BUTT”
FROM THE BUTT*
Not keeping butter in the refrigerator…
Bulk butter lives in the fridge. This week’s butter lives on the counter in the dish designed for it, with the cover.
Yes, the cover is essential, especially if you have a cat. Our winters are so cold here, even the butter on the counter isn’t at all soft.
do you not have heating?
I like money more than I like cranking the heat up.
Yeah, so? A lot of people here do that, you don’t have to spread hard butter on soft bread. It doesn’t go bad because usually it’s eaten quickly and covered with a glass lid or something
Also salted butter lasts longer on the counter than unsalted, and temperature is a factor. And salted butter makes delicious eggs!
Catflap on the fridge
As your neighbour in the apartment complex, I hear this too often and I wonder.
Just, out of blue. Completely quiet, then another butter fight.
My butter dish has a lid that animals shouldn’t be able to open. Though I have my doubts it would hold up to a dog or a bear if they really wanted some butter.
our cat knew there was butter under the lid so she tried to do the paw thing to like nudge it open
but she just knocked it on the ground instead and broke the butter dish we had for 20+ years :(
That’s the ‘clink’ sound; the lid being moved. (or at least attempts to move it)
Image Transcription: Twitter Post
they/themily, @e_davishale
cat ownership is hearing a single soft *clink* from across the house and yelling GET AWAY FROM THE BUTTER
The thought of having an animal that stands in it’s own shit, who then also walks on kitchen counters and beds and sofas, is disgusting.
You’ll never win, and you’ll never convince these people that their house smells like cat piss. Yes even if they clean it two times per day. No matter how often they clean the litter boxes - everyone who isn’t a cat owner can smell it.
I don’t know what animals you’ve had, but my cat cleans herself (including paws) pretty much right after leaving the litter box, and continues to clean herself all throughout the day.
Wait until I’ll tell you what human children do with their hands before proceeding to put them all over the place.
I bet your place looks like a Dexter kill room.
Sorry what was that I didn’t hear you over the sound of THE PARASITE LIVING IN YOUR BRAIN THAT YOU GOT FROM YOUR CAT WALKING IN SHIT AND THEN WALKING ALL OVER YOUR FOOD.
God you are dumb
That’s the toxoplasmosis speaking
I tested negative for toxoplasmosis :) I just love my abusive feline because I’m dumb. And feet beans are cute
butter mixes with cat? how ODD! like gag me with a spoon odd dude.
Far Out says this:
Upon a Cats Meow what does you do?
