29-year-old Daisy Link was being held at the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center in Miami-Dade County, Florida, when she met 24-year-old Joan Depaz, initially contacting him through the vents in their prison cells, according to WSVN7.
“You would knock on it and you can hear the people from the different floors. You would stand on the toilet actually to be able to talk to them,” said Link. “Being in isolation for so long you begin to spend hours and hours talking to this person, you know, to the point where it’s almost as if you’re in the same room with them.”
…
After Link and Depaz began a romantic relationship, Depaz shared his ambitions to have a child with Link, according to WSVN 7News.
“I always really wanted to have a baby. And I’m not gonna get to do that for a really long time,” said Depaz, recounting what he told Link. “So if I had to choose somebody, you know, it would be you. And she was like, ‘Yeah, we could do that.’”
Depaz and Link then hatched a plan to create a direct line between each other’s cells using bedding. Once they had established this, Depaz began sending Link his own semen wrapped in saran wrap.
…
“I put the semen in Saran Wrap every day like five times a day for like a month straight” he continued.
Link described receiving the packages, which were rolled up “almost like a cigarette”, administering them to herself using yeast infection applicators.
After a couple of attempts, Link became pregnant with “a miracle baby”, conceiving “like the Virgin Mary,” according to Depaz.
Who says romance is dead?
Those two cookies are in for murder 1 and murder 2 plus other violent offenses. Just in case other people were wondering why they said they wouldn’t get a chance to be a parent for a very long time.
The proud father:
And the happy mother:
Not like this Jurassic Park Scientist man. 😭
Not like this.
5 times a day for a month!?
Where’s he getting that much Saran wrap in jail?
I got the sense that he was stockpiling his…product, and then shipping it over the border once he had accumulated enough for a proper insemination attempt. I hate everything about what I just typed.
Considering that sperm die pretty fast outside the body it’s more likely it was “fresh”.
I hate everything that I have read
So basically a reverse pony jar?
Anyone can be a father. But it takes semen in Saran Wrap every day like five times a day for like a month straight to be a dad.
That headline just got wilder with every word
Still a better love story than Twilight?
Absolutely. If nothing else, I’m not hoping everyone involved dies at the end, which is a massive change from twilight
The Shaw-wank Redemption?
Edit: Or Sore-shaft Redemption.
I was coming on here to post: Sure-wank Impregnation but Frankensteining the two gets us:
The Sore-wank Impregnation
“Every day like five times a day for like a month straight”
Prison Wank?
The Rock (hard)
And they say romance is dead
They might be in there for a long time, no conjugal allowed. It’s possible when they get out - they won’t be able to have kids, so they did this.
Us prison system is a brutal dehumanizing place
So FUCKING WHAT. Having the biological ability to create progeny does not mean everyone is entitled to be a parent. Because most people are not good parents. Most just perpetuate whatever shitty abuse they suffered and the cycle continues.
It’s not the child’s fault, but the child will now be tossed into a world where they are incredibly more statistically likely to be abused, to grow up without financial and emotional support, to be in foster care, and ultimately to be an adult with a dramatically lower potential for a happy and thriving life.
They should charge these two idiots with reckless child endangerment. And charge the warden and guards with whatever will stick; obviously they failed in their duty as well.
Prison should be for rehabilitation, but that’s obviously never been the system we have in America. The 13th Amendment should be abolished. That doesn’t mean we should be condoning and abetting the procurement of additional downtrodden. This poor kid never had a chance.
Huh, I need to re-read the Gospels, I don’t remember the part about Mary stuffing semen she got from the HVAC vents into her cooter. God indeed works in mysterious ways.
So that’s how God did it, huh?
The Bible hand-waves away some steps, but pretty much.
To save any other Britons having to search it, “Saran Wrap” is American for “Cling Film”.
And for the Australians, Glad Wrap.
Huh. It’s cling wrap in Tas.
A bit like Hoover being a brand name that is sometimes used for any brand of vacuum cleaner.
Honestly we mostly call it cling film too
“Plastic wrap” is the most common term in my area.
We call it “sperm saver”.
And for the Germans: Frischhaltefolie
It’s the tokophobia talking, but I do find it fascinating how much people can want to be pregnant.
The whole “Don’t stick your dick in crazy” is this woman in a nutshell.
I think the both of them are on equal footing in this case. Poor kid. I hope this is all just a coverup for a guard who helped them meet.
Or the guard is the father.
That’s an even more depressing possibility, but pretty likely.
tbf he didn’t.
Life uh, finds a way.
Who wants to take the odds on this actually being a guard’s kid after the DNA test is done?
They are accused murderers. Meaning they won’t likely getting out till old AF and never going to be able to have kids.
There is very good chance they did this for that reason.
I don’t know, I am more inclined to believe that they found a way to meet up and have sex, but they are trying to hide that so they don’t get into trouble. Maybe the facility is going along with it, so they don’t get into trouble either.
Or a guard trying to hide it like some people said on other comments.
common sense take lol
but nahh lets juice up the faux outrage folks
gives me AITA vibes, everybody knows OP is fake haha
