• Mickey7@lemmy.worldOP
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    31
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    7 hours ago

    I’ve been married a long time. The secret is that I never make any decisions. But even with that half the time I still get blamed when something fucks up

      • Mickey7@lemmy.worldOP
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        5 hours ago

        LOL. Can’t tell you how many times I sat there shaking my head as yet again I am blamed for something that I explicitly said I don’t care about. And you decide because I have no opinion.

        • volvoxvsmarla @lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          5
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          2 hours ago

          Could it be because decision making is hard and you end up telling your partner that you a) don’t care about what they care about b) leave them hanging when they might need help to decide c) they end up having decision fatigue because you don’t have an opinion? Sometimes, a consultation or just a talk about something one tries to make a decision on feels good, doing it all by yourself sucks.

          Let’s say you don’t care what hotel she books. She ends up doing all the research on hotels. Presents you with it, pros and cons. You still say you don’t care. Ok, so now the burden of choice is solely on her. You guys arrive, the hotel sucks. Can’t you see that this is frustrating in a different way than if the two of you decided on the hotel together?

          • krashmo@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            2 hours ago

            Your example ends with the man realizing that he actually did care about the hotel when in reality he would have probably said something like “oh well, we’re only going to be here a few hours and we’ll be unconscious for most of them”. That is what it means when someone says they don’t care. They’re not hiding their true feelings from you just to be annoying.

            If you are tired of making decisions tell the other person to book the hotel. Most laid back people will be fine with that. Just don’t complain if that ends with you not getting what you wanted.