i’m genuinely starting to believe that some sort of demon or satan himself is inside me. i know it’s not real and i should get help, which i am getting, but i just needed some comfort or perhaps anecdotes. no criticism please and i don’t think i need advice, i’m getting help and i will talk to someone. it feels like a demon is giving me urges to say mean things i normally wouldnt say. i’m crazy aren’t i?
i just need comfort or perhaps someone share similar experiences.
I recently lost my shit on a neighbor who started yelling obscenities at me because my dogs weren’t leashed. He was in the right to be upset, but he didn’t need to act like that.
It’s not the first time it’s happened, and it’s not common thankfully, but I kind of snap into another personality where I essentially start to troll them, pushing emotional buttons to create as much anger and rage in them as I can, while walking on the razor’s edge of inciting actual violence. It’s intoxicating in a way, and I feel like shit for hours afterward.
This is not who I am at any other time in my life, and I feel like I’m possessed by a demon when it happens. I think these are what Carl Jung described as our Shadows.
do you know why it’s happening?? i’m so sorry.
I assume it’s because I had a sibling who would lose their shit on me growing up, and I’m just now learning to stand up for myself. There’s a lot of pent up anger and frustration that comes out when someone treats me like that that I haven’t learned quite how to control yet.