My ongoing updates to my location description for UberEats delivery drivers.

Me: “I live in the westmost apartment building.”

Driver: ?

Me: “I live in the apartment building farthest away from Portland”

Driver: ?

Me: “Head toward the sun until you get to the last building. That’s mine.”

Driver on cloudy day: ?

Me: “Imagine you get an amber alert that Mt. Hood has begun erupting. Which way do you run? Head that way. I will be waving my arms in the air outside my apartment.”

Driver: “Cant find bldg”

Me: sigh