• SnowySkyes [she/her]@hexbear.netM
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    10 months ago

    Not gonna lie, with my wife, I just craft all of my sentences to completely avoid the use of names and pronouns around her family. It just feels so wrong and makes me want to vomit when I have to deadname and misgender her.

      • SnowySkyes [she/her]@hexbear.netM
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        10 months ago

        Gods, you don’t even know the half of it. This past Christmas was the first one I was fully out at with her family (simply because I’m unapologetically me and I can’t hide my breasts anymore). We spent 3.5 hours there. Not a single time was I spoken to in any way, referred to in any way, or even looked at in any appreciable manner. They treated me like I didn’t even fucking exist. Neither myself nor my wife were expecting that outcome at all. She postulated that they weren’t expecting someone who looked and sounded like me (I pass 99% of the time). I postulated that, well, I always suspected they hated me. Now they have “reason” to do so and just acted out their fantasy of ensuring I’m not part of the family. I don’t know. Regardless of the reasoning, I think I would’ve rather been spoken to, misgendered, and deadnamed instead of completely and utterly erased. Fuck these people. They will never see me again.

        • Maoo [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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          10 months ago

          Yeah fuck those people I wouldn’t give them the time of day. I’m sure this is challenging for your partner, otherwise she probably would have written them off as well already.

          Sorry her family is terrible.