TIL therapists diagnose your sexuality.
*guy walks in the room*
Therapist: *writes GAY in their notebook, underlines it*
“I know it. Your family knows it. DOGS know it!”
Mine diagnosed me as being sexually attracted to therapists. I told them that’s not a sexuality and to continue analyzing me…
So are you still seeing them?
Yes, but nothing’s official
Are they brunette and wear glasses?
Good old massage therapy…
I mean yeah, he likes to have dudes suck his dick, but that doesn’t make him gay, the guys sucking him are gay, duh.
Beat the guy afterwards for being a dirty homo. That way nobody will think you’re gay.
it’s okay if you suck a little dick, as long as you don’t kiss him on the lips it’s fine.
Or if it’s just a prank between bros
It ain’t gay if you’re the one doing the fucking.
Roman/Viking gang
I think he’s the straightest of them all. He’s straight. He. Is. Straight.
Straight.
spoiler
Straight.
He’s so straight (how straight is he?) - why he’s so straight that he manages to like women, even though… oh uh I mean yeah he’s straight! :-P
He’s so straight he doesn’t like anything with curves! Boobies? Nope. Pussy, not straight enough!
Booty? Dudes got straight, flat booty, not bad not bad. Dick? Straight as an arrow, my kinda body part!
Not gay just OCD for straight things and he just for some reason can’t shake the need to put them in his mouth.
Around here, in less politically correct times there was once a comical sketch on TV of a guy who was so straight and liked women so much that he had a sex change operation to become a woman, and thus became a lesbian woman.
That’s the ultimate straight guy right there!
Ghey
Lol unrelated to this dude’s issue, I wish I could just go to a therapist and vent, because I can’t express myself like that to anyone in my life, I’m expected to be a supporter. But there’s nothing clinically wrong with me
My friend, you can just go to a therapist and vent, you do not need a clinical issue or diagnosis.
And therefore pay out of pocket?
I didn’t realize it made a difference. I’ve had a few different insurances and it’s always been covered to some extent if it’s in-network. Never been asked to prove it was necessary.
Or make a meme about it and share with the entire internet, that works too. For instance, I once heard about this guy who was SUPER straight… (Pro-Tip: he ain’t straight:-P).
$100 per session maybe, go once a quarter
That’s around the rate in my town anyway.
go vent to some hooker or prostitute, it is cheaper.
No it’s not… Again rates in my town.
your town therapist is cheaper? lmao
They’re colluding to inflate the price.
Yeah it’s Canada, therapy is 100$/h and prostitutes are $200/h. Do you live in some hellhole where therapy is $400 and prostitutes are $10?
Get a cat.
Vent to the cat.
Therapists are professionally supposed to keep themselves distanced from the emotional state of the subject, but that comes naturally for cats because they couldn’t care less about your feelings.
On the other hand, if you want some empathysing with what you’re feeling, get a dog (ideally mid-sized or larger) instead.
PS: I’m only semi-kidding.
Legit worth it though
One of those “if you’re on time you’re late” situations. The best time to go is before you need it
You just defined therapy. It’s one kind of therapy, and it’s expensive to use it for this purpose, but it’s therapy.
Obviously? I’m saying I’m in a band of people who don’t have access to it without paying out of pocket, and taking a spot from someone with actual clinical issues
You don’t need a reason to see a therapist. And just because you don’t have any easily diagnosable label for your mental state doesn’t mean therapy couldn’t improve your life. There is probably <1% of the world that are enlightened enough that they genuinely wouldn’t benefit from the experience
If it isn’t covered by insurance, I’m paying out of pocket to vent. No way.
Try making a WordPress blog that no one will see.
I never thought to do this until I decided to make one to cover my attemp at learning the development “trade” but it devolved into me just ranting about my issues with myself lol
Feel you there. I need someone I can just talk to for like… 4 hours. Just dump everything out and get all the shit I went through outloud and try and process it that way. No one really knows what I went through. I tell bits and pieces to people but it’s just way too much for most people and makes them feel weird or uncomfortable. I just need someone to listen and then tell me that I’m going to be okay or alright.
I need Data from Star Trek as a counsellor.
Just tell it all to ChatGPT 😁
Why pay a therapist to vent to when you have us :3
Sure you are man. Sure you are. You know I thought I also experienced sexual attraction until I realized my own mother was correct that I am asexual. Welcome to the alphabet mafia (LGBTQ+ community)
I CHOOSE to drink!
And I can stop anytime I want to, I’m telling you! (bawls: I’m straight, I promise you I’m so straight…)
Reminds me of that old post about how someone hated weed because it made them want to suck their friend’s dick
Find me this post please :D
I tried, got some interesting results but didn’t find the post anywhere :(
LOLZ! :-D
Bruh, you gay as hell.
That man is a gay homosexual.
Did someone really post this? In 2024?
yeah, I thought we killed satire years ago!
The goal posts keep getting moved so much that it’s a whole different sport, but some still manage to score.
Satire is alive and kicking
/s
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