So I landed a really nice job with a really cool company and they plan on hiring me this March, but before they can do that I need to pass a drug test. My manager personally doesn’t care whether or not I smoke weed but I live in a state where weed is illegal, and the company does care and would bar me from hiring if I were to fail a drug test.

I was stupid and smoked a fuck ton of weed last Sunday (before I knew that A; I need to take a drug test in the first place, and B; that weed can remain present in urine for up to (and possibly over) 30 days in frequent smokers (which I am)). This would originally have been fine if it weren’t for the fact that after agreeing to the background check, I would be scheduled for a drug test by the 13th (within 4 days). So my original plan to just drink a shit ton of water to flush myself out within a month wouldn’t work.

I also had a plan to sneak in a jar of my sober friend’s pee but then I learned that you’re actually required to pee in front of the observer so that plan wouldn’t work either.

So basically I’m fucked and I don’t know what to do :( My future pretty much depends on this job and I don’t know what I would do if I were to fuck this opportunity up. What do I do?

Also, idk how relevant this is but I’m 5’9" (~175 cm), 160 lbs (~72.6 kg), AMAB, and very infrequently exercise. I also have POTS so I sweat frequently and have poor water retention.

  • The_Walkening [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
    19·
    9 months ago

    is the employer telling you it’ll be monitored? What’s the setup, is this a “Go to the office and piss in a cup for us” or is it a “go to an actual lab”. In either case synthetic piss should work (if it looks legit and passes the test strip they just toss the sample, no follow-ups) but absolutely under no circumstances should you work for a company where another employee watches you pee, that’s a massive red flag.