I started quoting parts of your comment to answer to, and then I noticed I had basically added all of it so >.<

Yeah, all of that is basically how I feel, maybe except being excited about filling in the gap in my missing fashion sense, and the voice training itself. As soon as I get out of where I live right now.

Being amab, honestly, having masc euphoria still confuses the fuck out of me. It kept me thinking “I couldn’t be trans” for so long.

But recently, I’ve started perceiving enby-ness as the option that it is, and it’s liberating.

And there’s something funny about not realising sooner, and staying locked into thinking binary cis-trans are my only choices.

I mean, my whole life, when I see some stranger on the street and I can’t tell their gender on the first glance, I’ve been instantly attracted to them.

Also, 2 out of my 3 relationships were with (closeted) non-binary people. How did I not get the hint 😅

It goes to show, I think, how these things are all emotional realisations, so they happen at their own time, when we get the right experiences. I still feel like my default sense of self is powerlessness, and that really informs how possible, I feel, acting on my options is.

But I try to remind myself that those options are there. Life is not built on predetermined tracks.

Whatever your story is and whatever’s ahead of you, good luck to you :3

Same to you ^^ Hope you have fun on your journey as well :D