Me, an immortal vampire slut with a medically undocumented form of “lucid” Alice in Wonderland Syndrome, dating exclusively nullos, then once the nullo supply has been fully exhausted, switching to pre-T trans men, then post-T trans men and cis men with micropenes, then men with penes within standard deviation, then finally men with penes above the standard deviation, going roughly in order of smallest to biggest but using my powers of volitional macropsia when necessary, all so that I can tell every guy I’m with that his is the “biggest one I’ve ever seen” without ever needing to lie because lying is bad. This project has taken roughly 131 years thus far but I have made a lot of guys very happy. It’s not much but it’s honest work