I gave someone older a gift since I was visiting their home. They gave me a red packet because they thought the gift was costly. It was, but that’s not the point.
If you don’t know what a red packet is, it’s a red envelope with money that’s supposed to be lucky and given to someone younger.
I accepted the red packet before knowing it was for the gift, I can’t accept money for a gift but I also can’t return a red packet because it’s very bad taste and it would be bad luck.
What do I do now?
Maybe bring them another gift the next time using the money or spend it on something together like taking them out to a lunch or dinner. If they are old they might like the change of scenery.
They told me to stop bringing gifts when I visit but I cant do that of course, can’t buy then dinner either because they would never let me pay since I’m younger
It sounds like your compulsion to bring them gifts is very similar to their compulsion to give you a red packet.
It also sounds like there’s a power dynamic in this exchange. That is, for some people, gifting is an expression of power: boss gifts employees without anything in return; older family gift younger; etc. If you want to be right in your own head, then you can pass the red packet down the line, and you can stave off your discomfort in the future by not gifting up.
Just don’t bring a big gift. Or bring something meaningful like something you hand crafted