• MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.today
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    6 months ago

    Women out there are still complaining they can find a bf when all they have to do is say something vaguely nice to a guy and he’ll marry you.

    • lady_maria@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      eh… women are mostly complaining because they struggle to find men they’d want to date, not because they think men won’t date them.

      • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.today
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        6 months ago

        Well, I hate to break it to ya, but not every woman is going to get to marry a 6-6-6 just like not every man is going to marry a 10.

        Additionally, most women would probably be better off marrying a man who WANTS to date them rather than trying to get one who doesn’t.

        • lady_maria@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          You’re missing the point by a mile. It’s not about physical attraction, finances, or even the types of men just looking for a one-night stand. There are many men who want to be in long-term relationships, but don’t put in the effort necessary to keep that relationship alive and healthy.

          Men benefit from long-term relationshipsbmore than women; a woman’s workload actually increases because she’s usually the one tasked with managing the home and all of the emotional and physical labor that comes with that… even when she already has a full-time job.

          In order for a woman to want to be with a man, he needs to positively affect her life overall. So many men simply do not do that. That is the barrier to entry, and it is far from an unreasonable one. It’s generally easier and more desirable to be single than it is to be in a relationship with a man.

          • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.today
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            6 months ago

            Whoa, whoa, slow down there… you’re saying men should be in charge of something? But that’s patriarchy!

            Unless you only want to blame them for things not working out of course, because that’s what you’re doing if you give someone responsibility without giving them some sort of authority as well.

            But let’s face it, in a relationship there is never, EVER such a thing as “it’s HIS fault” or “it’s HER fault”. The onus is always on both people — because unless you were forcefully married by your parents, both people chose each other out of their own volition.

            So if you choose someone who keeps fucking up, guess what, that’s on you. And you can either put in the effort to try and figure out how to invoke a desire to change in them or chose someone better next time, but it’s gonna end up being work either way, because you won’t find a better partner unless you figure out why you chose the wrong one to begin with, you’ll just find more of the same.

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          Maybe the kind of man they want to date is a man that isn’t an asshole. Especially not one who sees a woman who is not conventionally attractive and thinks, “yeah, I could fuck that.”

          • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.today
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            6 months ago

            You know, there’s a simple solution to that, which women in the past had no trouble understanding: just put sex off the table until there’s a ring on your finger. That’s it. That’ll immediately eliminate any guy who’s only looking to up his notch count, as long as you actually stick to it and don’t just use it as a fake excuse to eliminate the weaklings.

            Just thinking out loud, of course. I would not dream of telling what to do with their bodies.

            • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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              6 months ago

              Not finding out if you’re sexually compatible is a terrible idea. There’s a happy medium between “fuck immediately” and “don’t fuck for years.”

            • endhits@lemmy.world
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              6 months ago

              Men don’t go for that because she didn’t make previous guys wait until marriage.

              Making rules for those you “settle” for that did not previously apply is egregious hypocrisy.

              • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.today
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                6 months ago

                I’m not sure whom that second sentence is directed at, because it could equally apply to men AND women, but it really kinda illustrates the problem with sleeping around before marriage, doesn’t it.

                It’s obviously far easier for the average woman to get laid than it is for the average man, and any average man who’s tried his luck with casual flings and/or dating apps will know that by the time a woman as average as him proposes making him wait for sex. So it’s only natural that he’ll be skeptical and perhaps even upset, because there’s going to be a certain amount of rage and a desire to get even, hence they’ll be pressing for sex even harder.

                So as the number of previous sexual partners increases, women tend to favor monogamy, because they’re tired of being pumped and dumped, whereas men tend to favor wanting to do more pumping and dumping because they’re tired of being passed over in her “fun phase” and only be considered “good enough” when it comes to wanting a relationship.

                A strange game, isn’t it. The only winning move is not to play…

          • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.today
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            6 months ago

            Yes, how dare I suggest women date someone who will appreciate them instead of someone who won’t.

            Patriarchy! Toxic masculinity! Guilty as charged, Mr. Officer, off to feminist jail I go.