• CosmicApe@kbin.social
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    2 months ago

    I met a friend with autism when we worked together years ago. One day he came to me and said “I’ve been talking to some people and doing some tests and it looks like I might have autism.”
    I looked at him for a few seconds and said “wait, you didn’t know?”
    “You knew and didn’t say anything?!”
    “Well I thought you knew! It’s not really casual work chat ‘hey man, how was your weekend? BTW looks like you’re a bit autistic’”

  • Flax@feddit.uk
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    2 months ago

    Fun story: Apparently basically everyone in my family highly suspected it but I never got referred for an assessment when I was younger because my mum thought all children acted like that. So whenever I was telling people about my diagnosis they really weren’t surprised 🤣

    (I love my mum, she did what she thought was best given the circumstances, and that’s okay)

    • bionicjoey@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      My mom told me when I got diagnosed as an adult that they suspected it when I was a kid, but never had me tested because my speech development wasn’t delayed. In fact I was unusually well-spoken for someone my age as a child. What they didn’t realize is that this is the main distinction between the former Asperger’s diagnosis and the former “high functioning autism” diagnosis.

  • casual_turtle_stew_enjoyer@sh.itjust.works
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    2 months ago

    I’m not going to debate about whether anyone could be a clinically undiagnosed case or how often that occurs with any demographic. All I am going to say is that if you self-diagnose any neurological condition, you’ve got a better chance of being wrong than you do right. This is not open for debate. If this statement upsets you, or you would like to challenge it, too bad. You cannot play pretend forever.

  • billwashere@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I can usually tell from the rarely looking at me when they speak, having an unusual depth of knowledge on weird facts, or problems with competitive games. My stepson was ASD. That also helped.

  • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
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    2 months ago

    You probably don’t want to hear this but maybe self-diagnosis among youth is getting out of hand. Maybe in your desire to feel special and explain your limitations has lead you to the conclusion that no normal person could possibly be as neuro-atypical as you.

    • MehBlah@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I guess it could be that way for the young. I’m 53 and I had months of anxiety attacks when I started considering the reason why I’ve always had trouble with certain types of people was that I was autistic and they the worst kind of neurotypical.

      The last thing I felt was ‘special’.

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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        2 months ago

        What was it specifically about this notion that gave you anxiety attacks?

        When I learned I was autistic at age 30, it didn’t really affect me much because I knew my overall life game hadn’t changed. I was still the same person with the same skills, facing the same reality, just with a new label.

        Were you afraid people would see you differently and give you less respect? Or did you think you were going to psych yourself out, or that you had a hidden disadvantage? Or something else?

        • MehBlah@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          The anxiety came from the idea of what others would think. This goes with the abuse that I went through with my parents. They were always worried about what others would think. Turns out several people over the years tried to get them to have me checked out. They let the shame of what I might be prevent them from helping me.
          I was 39 when I started considering it. My son had been diagnosed and I was reading a huge amounts of information on autism. So many things in the books perfectly described the problems I had always had. I had already been diagnosed with ADHD and unfortunately nothing I could take for it worked. My parents who I stupidly still trusted were completely against me getting any help. They didn’t like my son taking Adderall. The more I questioned it the more belligerent they became with me. I finally cut contact with them and started getting help. Turns out they were always aware of my difficulties and somehow my getting help would hurt them. They were/are narcissists. Now I use them as a example of what not to be. These days I don’t care what others think of me. I’m just thankful I didn’t become them. I broke the cycle for myself and most of all for my kids. I would rather my son be happy than spend every day masked up and hurting inside.

      • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
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        2 months ago

        Yeahp, I was explicitly referring to the young.

        I think these problems do go underdiagnosed at large scale, but when half a classroom “thinks” that they “might be” autistic, then clearly it’s an issue of mentality.

        • Liz@midwest.social
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          2 months ago

          It is half the classroom, or is it more like 5%? Because the autistic rate is somewhere around 2%, so you would probably expect a slightly higher rate of people to guess they’re autistic when you’re dealing with a population known for struggling to understand themselves.

          • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
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            2 months ago

            That’s the core of my statement, if it’s only 5% then that’s good and we can work with that. If it’s half then something is wrong with what the class thinks.

            • NoSpiritAnimal@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              You’re not making any sort of factual statement, you’re making a series of suppositions about people you’ve not met without any underlying evidence or even a firm idea on what problem you say you’re identifying.

              You’re sharing your (uninformed) opinion and expecting others to give it weight.

    • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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      2 months ago

      Yeah, I agree. This isn’t to say that everyone who self-diagnosis is wrong, but it feels like everyone today needs to have some mental illness or disorder. I don’t think it’s healthy. Every person is different. Being different doesn’t mean you have an actual disorder that would need treatment or special care. It really only serves to diminish the response to real disorders.

      • Taleya@aussie.zone
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        2 months ago

        I think we’re going to find that neurodivergence is a lot more prevalent than we ever assumed.

        Traditionally ND numbers are based on those who are dysfunctional. The ones that get ‘seen’. Those of us who are just ‘a bit odd’ and skate by? Yeah there’s a reason why so many of my generation are getting diagnosed in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s. Because when we were kids if you weren’t in a soft helmet and nonverbal you were classified NT. Millenials and genz are paying a lot more attention to their mental health and trashing the stigmas around it and it’s a good thing.

        What’s the worst thing that’s gonna happen if we have a higher rate of perceived NDs anyway? Society becomes more accomodating? Oh noooooo

        • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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          2 months ago

          What’s the worst thing that’s gonna happen if we have a higher rate of perceived NDs anyway? Society becomes more accomodating? Oh noooooo

          The worst thing that can happen is people who need assistance don’t get it, because everyone claims they need it. I don’t think that’s the most likely outcome, but it is possible.

          Everyone is different to some extent, so just being “atypical” doesn’t mean you’re neuro divergent. I don’t have an issue with it in general, but I do have an issue when it starts becoming a personality trait. I saw that happening on Tumblr at least. Teenagers in particular have a hard time fitting in, and they can see this as a way to have an identity that makes them feel like a member of a group. It’s a similar appeal to smoking or anything else teenagers tend to do just for the social appeal. Is it unhealthy? Only time will tell.

          • Taleya@aussie.zone
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            2 months ago

            Extremely unlikely. Assistance isn’t handed out like candy, it’s notoriously hard to gain.

    • Skkorm@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      It’s a byproduct of our lack of a mental health care system. While I do agree that it can be dangerous, self-diagnosis is necessary because there is no mental health system in place. Be it America or Canada, mental health is not considered Healthcare. Therefore, the only way for a person to explore mental health related issues is for them to diagnose themselves first, and then go exploring for professional perspective afterwards.

      Claiming that self diagnosis is “seeking special treatment” is incredibly cynical. Never attribute to malice what can be attributed to incompetence. People aren’t wrong for taking part in self-analysis. Examining your behavior and seeking to understand why you act the way you act is how you learn to reflect on your behavior and become a better person as you age. If your initial reaction to this post is to assume a malicious motive, then you could do with some self analysis as well. Why do you think you automatically assumed the worst of reasonings behind self diagnosis? That’s something that may be with exploring about yourself.

      Self-Diagnosis is the first step in that process. Until mental health care is considered Healthcare, something our General health practitioners prioritize just as much as physical health, self-diagnosis is necessary.

      • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
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        2 months ago

        For some reason you’re the second person to misconstrue my statement as “seeking special treatment.” That’s not what I said. You’re arguing against a fictional person.

        • Skkorm@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Maybe it was unintentional, but there was a condescending and belittling tone to the phrasing you chose. You don’t get to hide behind the literal wording of your statement when there was condescension within your phrasing.

          • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
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            2 months ago

            Being accused of making a mistake absolutely can be seen as belittling. That doesn’t mean it’s not a logical statement with weight to it.

            • cheesepotatoes@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              Who are you even putting on this performance for? We all read your comment. You’re condescending, judgemental and not at all subtle.

            • Zacryon@feddit.de
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              2 months ago

              You literally said:

              Maybe in your desire to feel special

              That is condescending.

              • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
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                2 months ago

                It was very accurate and I stand by it. Everybody wants to see themselves as an individual and not a part of the crowd, that applies to every living person on earth.

                • Zacryon@feddit.de
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                  2 months ago

                  It seems to me that you are approaching this complex topic from an oversimplified view. Human behaviour isn’t as simple as you put it.

    • Veraxus@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Congratulations, that’s most ableist ignorant boomer garbage I’ve heard all day… and my inlaws are visiting.

      • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
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        2 months ago

        Except for this guy, this guy clearly has Asperger’s or something equally debilitating and socially awkward.

        • Veraxus@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Asbergers is a nazi term and should not be used. And yes, I’m AuDHD.

          “People just pretend to be autistic so they can get special treatment” is a toxic, ableist stereotype and absolutely unacceptable. I assumed that would be a given in a space about autism. Silly me.

          • Kedly@lemm.ee
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            2 months ago

            As an Aspie myself, fuck letting other people take away the term I grew up using that accurately described my life experience and allowed me to access the resources I needed just because the person who coined it had a shady history. Thats prime reclaim territory as that fucker NEVER had anything to do with the term for me, nor I imagen it did for the vast majority of other people with the Asperger Syndrome diagnosis.

          • LwL@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            That’s not even remotely what they said lmao

            It’s pretty clear that there tends to be a lack of differential diagnosis and inability to judge severity of symptoms when it comes to self-diagnosis. People see some matching symptoms and go “I must have this!” when it could be 20 other things.

            Though i also dunno if needing treatment or special care is the best metric to use since it’s very possible to have ASD and just get by with masking (obv not in all cases).

            • Veraxus@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              That’s not a thing, though… there is no epidemic of people self-misdiagnosing disorders… which is why I called it ignorant boomer logic.

              But moreso, it’s harmful, because perpetuating this non-existent problem harms those of us fighting for acceptance by encouraging that we be questioned and distrusted (let alone having to deal with the usual stigmas).

              Neurodiversity shouldn’t be seen as a “disorder” at all… we need to accept that different people just work differently, and that’s okay, and one set of expectations/assumptions doesn’t work for everybody.

              If someone is having a hard time, trust them. If they suspect it’s because of an undiagnosed neurodiversity, support them and help them. Calling ANYONE a fake is - again - extremely harmful and must not be left unchallenged.

              Even your use of the word “special” is problematic, and goes right back to the original comment I responded to. ND people don’t want or need special treatment, just different treatment. We have to get past this mentality that something is “wrong” with ND people or that treating people as unique individuals is “special”.

              • LwL@lemmy.world
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                2 months ago

                Oh yea, I’d never question anyone having a hard time. In the context of the meme specifically it doesn’t make much sense to question things, now that I think about it. If only autistic people go “yea sounds about right” there’s a good chance you’re autistic anyway.

                But I’ve seen it personally where ppl match some symptoms and become utterly convinced they must have a specific disorder, and it doesn’t make sense either. There’s no huge harm to it but esp an awareness of differential diagnosis seems to be lacking.

                • Zacryon@feddit.de
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                  2 months ago

                  I think it’s best to encourage people to go see professionals if they suspect they might have a disorder or any kind of illness. But I think it’s detrimental to tell them they are just imagining things as this might lead to serious issues flying under the radar.

                  Let the people decide who studied this.

      • casual_turtle_stew_enjoyer@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        Hi. I have ASD, diagnosed proper years ago. I have grown up around more ASD individuals than you have, full stop. I have shadowed ABA clinicians for years.

        I strongly attest that the statement that younger generations self-diagnosing is all-around harmful is 100% factual and indismissable. There is nothing ignorant about the provable truth.

        • Veraxus@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Ah yes, your personal anecdotal “provable truth”. Please do better. For all our sakes.

        • Zacryon@feddit.de
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          2 months ago

          Alright, please link your peer-reviewed study on this as soon as you were able to prove the generality of your personal impressions.