[T]he ministers and generals of the two countries, dressed in bathing-drawers and armed with clubs, can have it out among themselves. Whoever survives, his country wins. That would be much simpler and more just than this arrangement, where the wrong people do the fighting.
- Kat, All Quiet on the Western Front
"Sorry ole chap, turns out all those cigars didn’t do Churchill any favors. Hitler took him out in under a minute.
Anyway, we heard you’re gay, so here’s a bullet in your ear."
Yeah, but the US has a guy in a wheelchair!