• boatsnhos931@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    I’m with you brother, there’s not one place within 100 miles of me that you can just sit and drink coffee and have a gay old time. There’s about 30 of them.

    • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      7 months ago

      Ah, but can you profess burgeoning romantic interest in your fellow patrons at those or are we back at the original “no that isn’t appropriate to ask out a woman just trying to enjoy her coffee, either?”

      At the 30 coffee shops near me it doesn’t exactly seem encouraged, but if you insist, I’m willing to try. Even makes “can I buy you a coffee” easier since we’re already there assuming it is appropriate.

        • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          7 months ago

          Ehh not buying that. By your logic I can just take what I want. Pretty sure that’s called “crime” as it is against the “rules.”

          But I’ll play along: Sure, and I’ve decided that as a rule I’d like to not be considered creepy, and as such am attempting to ask people out in a venue that won’t make women uncomfortable or scared or whatever other negative attributes one pins on those seeking romantic partnerships outside of tinder or the liquor hut.

          Sure, I could throw caution to the wind, say fuck it, be scared, think I’m creepy, eventually someone will get coffee with me," and it frankly seems like I’m at this last resort, so I may start, but I will feel skeevy when some girl is obviously like “I’m just trying to enjoy my work/the gym/hobbies/the store/coffee shop/school/park/etc.”

          I guess you may be right though at the end of the day, fuck em, a dude gotta eat. Them having negative feelings about it is a them problem I spose.

          • barsoap@lemm.ee
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            7 months ago

            say fuck it, be scared, think I’m creepy, eventually someone will get coffee with me

            I mean no but kinda. One thing that’s practically always going to be the case is that you’re physically intimidating, and you should never shirk away from acknowledging that, and be comfortable with it. The trick is to look like a roller-coaster: Intimidating, sure, but it’s not going to throw you around unless you get on and when you do, you’ll still be safe.

            • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              7 months ago

              I mean, it was a little hyperbolically stated lol. I don’t mean actually be creepy of course.

              But fair enough, “fuck it” it is! I don’t really want to start drinking again which seems like my only other option lol.

          • boatsnhos931@lemmy.world
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            7 months ago

            I think you are overthinking it way too much. I’m just talking about the social norms. Who said anything about committing crimes??? Did you think I was talking about breaking the law? Wtf? You trying to grab a tit while you say hey? Just say what’s up and if she doesn’t bite, go to the next one. Don’t get discouraged, it’s all about getting out there and practicing but it sounds like you may have some social insecurities that need to be addressed first… playbooiiii LOL

            • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              7 months ago

              The only rules are the ones you make playbooiiii

              Is what I was making a joke about. There are, in fact, “rules,” being the crux of the joke.

              But no I mean the fact that supposedly no woman wants men to say what’s up anywhere but the bar, which I do not frequent, or the dating apps, which are spyware.