Sofia “Buff Girlfriend” @sofiabuffgf
Installing a bidet at home was life changing but unfortunately it’s transformed pooping on company time from a small proletarian victory into yet another grueling humiliation of inadequate working conditions.
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I relate to this on such a deep level. I really dread using any toilet that doesn’t have a bidet now. I can’t figure out why they aren’t everywhere . It has to be better for the environment.
I don’t know if I’d trust a public bidet, the amount of poop people leave on the toilet seat doesn’t give me confidence they wouldnt find a way to get their explosive slosh into the nozzle
Go for a portable one. Be clean and proud. Nobody is gonna ask you about the flask-thing anyway unless they want one. https://www.happypo.de/ No idea if it has a translated site, but it’s quite butt-forward anyhow.
We have those in the US as well. They’re meant for women who just gave birth to clean their privates. The hospital gave my wife 3 that we got to take home since they can’t reuse them.
Bidets can generally also be used for lady parts, but it isn’t just for that. In the link, it does call itself “butt shower”.
Yeah, but this “portable bidet” is literally the exact same product that has been marketed towards post-partum women in the US. I mean that literally, it’s the exact same product made in China, marketed by some slimy western asshole as a “revolutionary portable bidet!!!1!11!”
Imagine the filth in your average public restroom.
Now imagine if they were all designed with powerful fountains that spray water up and out of the device if not intercepted by an anus.
I’m pretty sure “this is why we can’t have nice things” is true in this case, just pre-emptively.
The wonderful thing about every bidet I’ve ever used is that they require intentional actions to be activated. I have never gotten a surprise spray yet.
Surprises of that sort aren’t really the problem, tho that would be… wild.
The intentional abuse of the devices would be the problem, as would unintentional misuse (eg they are in the wrong position and it misses entirely, or they don’t know what it is and mess with the controls while standing in front of it).
First thing I did after installing a bidet was shoot water 3m onto a wall.
Same, honestly. You have to make sure it works and you don’t really think to cover it, and even if you did you don’t really know where…
My bidet toilet came with a “demonstration tool”. A (transparent) plastic contraption that can be put on the toilet which 1) activates the bum-sensor and 2) blocks the water stream.
The toilet also has a “demonstration” mode, I did not dare to turn that on, though.
You’re right. There is nothing stopping folks from throwing toilet paper (clean or dirty) all over the public restroom on purpose and I have spent enough time in airport bathrooms to know that people can make a mess perfectly fine with how restrooms are kitted out today.
I don’t think I’ve seen a post that spoke so strongly to me
That said. Working at a Japanese company has some perks like this in particular
I got to learn to love those bidet toilets through my frequent (extended) work travels to Japan. Got one for myself at home when the bathroom was up for renovation. Now I am dreading any work trip to not-Japan because I’ll have to shit like a barbarian for that time.
I’ll have to shit like a barbarian for that time.
I try and pre poop for this reason, if going to town and get caught out etc
Smearng shit around your asshole with paper might have appealed to 8yr old me but no longer is it the mischievous fun it was in the long ago.
It was also bemusing to see the great TP shortages of the Covid era and snicker
You just gotta hire a domestic worker to shoot a super soaker at your gooch.
Wash up in the sink. Or the water cooler.
I know corporate overlords wish there could be, but I don’t think we’re at the point of having someone in there with you to check that you’re actually pooping just yet…
So poop at home, then just sit there and catch up on your scrolling on company time…Do you guys have that much control over when and where you poop? I see this idea of “just hold it in until you get to your preferred location” fairly regularly and that seems insane to me. It’s not like my poops are an imminent emergency every time but I definitely couldn’t hold it in more than an hour or maybe two on the high end, and that would be pretty uncomfortable. That’s not enough time to get home in many cases. In other words, when it hits, I shits.
I generally go once in the morning (going from being horizontal in bed to being vertical out of it usually does the trick) then I’m done for the day. But even if I have to go again I can generally hold it at least for a bit unless it’s a food poisoning type situation… ¯\(ツ)/¯
But then, digestive systems vary widely, so all that matters is what’s normal for you.
This sounds like heaven to me. Pure. Heaven.
-Crohn’sGang
