Edit: while I’m at it, does anyone know what I should do when I’m waiting for a coincidence/adventure to happen, but it never comes? I can’t really go outside and arrange for it to happen because I don’t know what I’m looking for.

  • Septimaeus@infosec.pub
    3·
    6 months ago

    I’ve heard this truism my whole life, and glibly repeated it myself at least a few times. But we must acknowledge that it expresses a morally defeatist attitude (cynicism) that poisons the person who actually lives by it.

    The truism is usually deployed right after someone’s good deed was taken advantage of, but the correct solution is not to avoid being good to others, as the truism suggests. It is simply to make sure you’re being good to yourself as well.

    For example, someone you don’t know asks to borrow your car to pick up their kid from school. Being good to them is helping them pick up their kid. Being good to yourself is driving them there yourself instead of handing a rando the keys to your car.

    • Septimaeus@infosec.pub
      1·
      6 months ago

      I’ve heard this truism my whole life, and glibly repeated it myself at least a few times. But we must acknowledge that it expresses a morally defeatist attitude that poisons the person who actually lives by it.

      Instead you can reconcile kindness by being more observant. Some “good deeds” aren’t actually that good, since their extended effects amount to an unkindness to yourself or those you love.

      For example, let’s say someone asks you to donate to a just cause, or loan them some money in a difficult time. If doing so means your family goes hungry or can’t afford clothes, it might not be such a good deed after all.

      More subtle examples involve your time, such as helping someone by staying late at work, or spending hours listening to someone who really should get professional help instead.

      Ultimately, it’s not true that “no good deed goes unpunished,” but even if it were, it doesn’t matter, because helping people is its own reward.