Probably the most true post in this entire community.
CARL MARK
Oh hi Mark
Infmous socialsit.
He killed a billion peolle. Certainly you’ve heard of him.
Caaarrl, that kills people!
CARL!
Mow
Mow ze lawn
Not very funny meow, is it?
Chairman Meow
He ruled Chiner
Trofim Lysenko killed the most people under Communism, through famine. Most of the deaths under communism have been due to famines and misconceptions about farming.
…and more were killed by Capitalism in the Belgian Congo and by The British East India company alone. Both of which were run as Capitalist ventures.
“Misconceptions about farming” isn’t really accurate though. The farmers knew how to make food, but in both Russia and China, at least, the central government decided bullshit was as good as science and fucked around with a working system.
That being said, America also fucked up their soil so bad that they created a dustbowl with a non-zero deathtoll, and modern western farming practices are also fucking up the climate via algae blooms, pollinator killing pesticides and just straight up spewing diesel exhaust.
the central government decided bullshit was as good as science
The problem was that they thought Lysenkoism was science. Obviously, plants would grow according to Marxist ideology because why wouldn’t they?
Reactionary plants
It didn’t help that Lysenko started off being right. It turns out that planting some seeds deeper does increase yields!
Clearly we should double the depth!
Capitalism brought us Brawndo, which will kill all the crops eventually.
It’s what patriotic plants crave!
I’ve been listening to The Fall of Civilizations podcast (it’s really good, especially if you enjoy history). I just finished an ep yesterday on the Norse colonies on Greenland and it talked about the destructive farming that occurred before they were abandoned. This was ~13th-14th centuries when they went dark. It’s not an uncommon problem, though centuries of progress make it harder to excuse / understand in the 20th.
Anyway, fascinating stuff. I wonder how we’ll be talked about in the next millennium (assuming a miracle and humanity lasts that long).
“Even when they saw the plastics in their own blood, they continued making plastics.”
I’m about 90% certain this is a satirical post.
I’d say 100% because while funny, the insane person not even knowing how to write the names but has learned enough to know about the landlord thing? Nah
“I know absolutely dick about shit yet I still have an opinion.”
What about Pole Pot!?
Pail Pot
No, it’s spelt Paul Paht.
These people post things like that and look at it and go, yeah, I’m happy to put that out on the internet that’s a coherent sentence, with correct punctuation and spelling.
What is wrong with them?
How do they ignore all the red squiggly lines?
Next to their real name and face as well.
It’s why I know the stats of 99% literacy rates are bullshit. I’ve been on Facebook. Half the people in my town seem to communicate online through the text equivalent of caveman grunts.
So the definition of literacy that they use for those stats is a super low bar. Like the bar is lying on the ground. The National Assessment of Adult Literacy defines literacy as “the ability to use printed and written information to function in society, to achieve one’s goals, and to develop one’s knowledge and potential.” That’s not a high bar to clear and the literacy rate, in the US at least, is still only about 80%.
The background is red it blended in
This is definitely a joke. But also, I don’t fuck with Facebook anymore because it’s got way too much cringe content
How do they ignore all the red squiggly lines?
I’m thinking these sort of people look at those lines like some sort of challenge. “No line is gonna tell me I spelled that word wrong!”
Carl Mark sounds like the CEO of a cereal company
Ah yes, that well-known communist Carl Mark.
And his fierce rival, Chairman Mow.
Who unfortunately died cutting his tenant’s grass.
Let’s not confuse landlords and corporations. The former are people, the later are not. They’re often horrible people, but they’re still made of meat; corporations are made of ink, paper, and a stubborn refusal to accept reality.
but they’re still made of meat
Thinking meat! You’re asking me to believe in thinking meat!
such a good story.
I love it. The author, Terry Bisson, used to have it on his own website, but his website seems to be gone unfortunately.
He died January 10th of this year. Too bad his website doesn’t survive as a small bit of legacy.
I didn’t know he passed! That’s awful, but thanks for letting me know :-(
This American Life did a radio read of it. Really great. https://www.thisamericanlife.org/803/greetings-people-of-earth/act-two-7
Classic, the sketch is also quite good. [Youtube Link]
“Renting” needs to die in a goddamn fire, and I know how to kill it: An Owner-occupant credit against property taxes. If you live in a home you own, you receive the credit, which holds or lowers your property taxes. Someone who owns a home but doesn’t live in it is ineligible for the credit.
With that credit in place, we increase property taxes (and the credit) every year that the owner occupancy rate is less than 80%.
Now, every real estate investor is pushing for tenants to become “buyers”, and offering land contracts, private mortgages, or converting the property to condominiums, in order to secure that credit.
“But they’ll just pass on the tax increase to tenants!” They will try. But, with all the other landlords fighting to put occupants on deeds, who is going to insist on paying a premium for a rental instead of just buying outright?
I just got evicted after attempting to pay. Landlords are scum.
deleted by creator
Fuckin scum man…
Yeah its going to require a lien or something
They like it when you succeed in paying.
Ahh, so that’s where the phrase “Mowed them down” came from.
I found a pic of Curl Mark, Mow, PoPo Pot
