I think part of my hopelessness is that I am realizing hrt has not done anything to my face, I figured this out since I am still pretty recognizable. the only thing hrt has done for me is give me boobs, which usually results in hey dead name, you should loose some weight when i am recognized in public. I just feel hopeless and I want this nightmare to end.
I think you need to come out to those people. It’s scary, and in the immediate-term very bad, but after that… you get recognition. Not being recognized as yourself suuuuucks.
This helped my friend so much. She finally told me and a few other people what was going on, and we all kind of went “oh, (dead name), wait. No. What’s your new/real/we don’t know what to say name?”, and we had a conversation about it all.
It fucking blows but, honestly, I just never take off my KN95 mask in public… It seems to mostly keeps me from being misgendered (on top of also just being a good idea, of course). I’m never gonna afford FFS, and because of electrolysis I’m not even allowed to shave for like half of every week, so masks being socially acceptable has been a lifesaver for me in more ways than one. Would that help for you too?
facial feminization surgery can be very effective but it costs money (like many quality of life things)
I have some experience in this area. Here is my advice. Get laser for any facial hair. Learn how to do makeup(esp if you are worried about jawline, etc) and dress for your body. Practice yoga and mindfulness. Find a supportive female/trans friend to help you grow and give you criticism on your look.
