To start for anyone that may be concerned by the title, I’ve always considered myself an ally and I’ve supported both family and friends when they came out to me. I’ve always known that it takes a lot of trust for someone to come out like that, and I want to be the friend that they feel safe to talk with about that stuff.
I’m autistic, and I’ve recently started my journey of understanding that, my gender, and my sexuality. I’ve suspected since college that I was ace, and finally understood that about myself in the last few months. I made the first public message ever referring to myself as queer in a casual setting as a passing comment today which honestly felt a little strange, but already feels natural.
What I need help with understanding, is why should I actively tell my friends and family about it? The way I see it, I’ve always been this way and nothing will change in me between now and 10 seconds after I say something. I don’t think of it as hiding anything either, I think of it as me being me. Why do others feel the need to share with people close to them?
Even if it doesn’t mean anything to you personally, it might mean something to those close to you. Sharing these types of things is what helps build trust between people. It might also help them understand you better (improving communication, for example).
There are other possible benefits to those close to you as well. For anyone who isn’t as exposed or comfortable with the LGBTQ+, it might help normalize them to the queer community a bit (or at least be a step). It may also benefit the larger queer community just by your representation (and in my experience, it seems like the ace community is often underrepresented).
Of course, coming out exposes you to possible backlash and difficulty, so of course you’re not obligated to do so (or on any particular schedule). But hopefully that helps explain some of the possible benefits.