Teaching kids to say “I don’t like what you’re doing” (or the specific action) to each other instead of “stop” makes their interactions far more peaceful. It avoids a power struggle where the person doing the action has to decide whether to do what the other said (“stop”). Instead, they now have info they can use when deciding if they want to accommodate the other’s opinion or if they prefer to be a jerk.
I grew up such a people pleaser that this would have worked SO well on me. Stop leads to “why?” But my parent being upset, or god forbid dosappointed… those are some words of great power.
Yeah, it works well from parent to child or from child to parent, too.
My wife is a kindergarten teacher (in Sweden it requires a bachelor’s degree, so it’s an actual thing) and one of the things she has kept bringing up during her time at uni is that you have to explain why. Just saying “stop”, “no”, “yes” etc teaches them nothing. What is obvious to us is unknown to them. Explain why and they’ll be empathetic back.
5 minute timers for activity transitions. I started using them as a visual aid for when bath time would end, now she asks for them at every transition - before going to school, before leaving the park, before eating dinner, before getting ready for bed.
And while sometimes we want something done right now, her request for a 5 minute timer is a great check on our own expectations - are act of the things that we’re asking so critical as to impose our will on her and deny these 5 minutes? Pretty much never.
It also works great for when we need 5 minutes - we can ask for a 5 minute timer before joining her for play, etc.
Not a parent BUT the best thing I ever saw for a small child was “fast feet”. Basically, teach the kid to run in place like it’s a game, making fast feet. Do it enough and it tires them out.
Bubble gun in the bath. I shoot bubbles towards the ceiling and it gets her to look up long enough for me to rinse her hair. Also, we have finger paint soap. For awhile she was refusing to get her body washed after a string of bad diaper rashes from daycare. She would stand up to paint the wall and we could get her clean.
Apparently this can be debatable, but I think treating children like humans with feelings can go a long way.
The swaddle. My child has learned being awake is fun. Including at night. By the power invested in me by this swaddle blanket, she will learn the beauty of SLEEP.
I thought this was the best thing since sliced bread too. Then he learned he has arms and can use them to roll around, which means you have to stop swaddling. A week or two of bad nights later he’s now sleeping without one.
Not a parent, but if you ever need something nearly unbreakable and solid, fix it with baking soda and superglue.
E: Or don’t, whatever. I’m glad to see that nothing ever breaks or needs fixing at your houses for your crotch goblins.
