How are those things related
The joke is people will mention the latter at any chance they get even if it doesn’t fit.
So the format is:
[Important discussion]
[Unexpectedly simple response]
[Some guy interjects with thing he always talks about]
But the most important detail is I personally have a fast metabolism, I can eat as much as I want and not gain weight for whatever reason lol.
Is this the new “I use arch btw” which was the new “I’m vegan”?
Which is like crossfitters
Oh that’s not what i got from that at all. I thought there was an implied fourth sentence where society beats the shit out of metabolism guy in jealousy, but they left tran people alone because that’s not actually a big deal.
–the joke->
You
What a helpful response!
Gee, I’m sure glad I came to the comments to quell my confusion.
Have you never met somebody with a fast metabolism?
Do people really talk about their metabolism that much? Or are some people just so self-conscious about their weight and eating habits that they place particular weight on those comments such that they appear to be more frequent than they actually are?
I got a lot of comments about my weight and eating habits when I was young, so ‘fast metabolism’ was an easy way out of the conversation even if it wasn’t true.
Or did some people’s parents unconsciously internalize it in them as a child? Or am I projecting?
I feel like that’s a loaded term but I do know people who are going to have a rough awakening when they get older. (i.e. they won’t be able to eat like they used to without feeling/seeing it).
(reminder don’t take dietary advice from internet strangers)
Don’t eat breakfast or lunch. Just eat snacks and dinner. Gorge yourself like a snake. Eat a whole loaf of bread and call it your daily ration. Be ungovernable.
i’ve just started dangling various food types by twine from my ceiling and running at top speed around the house with my mouth open like pacman, am i doing it right
Only if you make ‘waka waka waka’ noises the whole time
Don’t forget to fall to the floor while making the death noise once you run out of food.
common spujb w
But only if you unhinge your jaw and swallow the entire loaf whole.
Don’t tempt me, my appetite for bread is bottomless
That reminds me of the time I made my friend like sixty breadsticks in order to emulate “bottomless breadsticks” and he powered through like forty in a single day
Finally some truth! Thank you PugJesus.
… I don’t remember writing this comment …
Uh oh I actually do this. 🫣🫣
Im trans people with a fast metabolism :3
“yeah it’s like no matter how much i eat i don’t gain any weight; also i’m so super attractive and gorgeous” —you, probably
and so smart and good at everything and perfect and amazing and yeah B3
B3
you sunk my battleship :(
LMAO I love that game :3
…how many people ARE you? Did you post this via democratic consensus?
Maybe they’re part of a collective conscience or hive mind
And there’s a shark in there somewhere probably
hehe tbf I am plural :3
The chosen one.
Going through puberty twice will do that.
ohh does it? if so thats a neat way of losing weight and u get boobs too x3
I know, it’s such an awful tradeoff. I can’t wait for my second puberty to be over so I can gain weight properly.
(reminder don’t take dietary advice from internet strangers)
Here’s my fact based advice: on average, people that eat food sometimes live longer than people that do not eat food. You should sometimes eat food.
Ignore my advice at your own peril.
I did some research and this one is backed up by actual medical science, folks…
Ancel Keys’ seminal study on starvation demonstrated the severe health consequences and decreased life expectancy associated with prolonged lack of food intake (Keys et al., 1950).
So at the very least I would err on the side of eating some food, sometimes, rather than no food, never, until you talk to your doctor or nutritionist. :)
On the one hand, there’s a strong correlation between eating food and dying ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯
Its just fucken crazy dude. Like my ass is made completely of fucken bone. I’m at the point where I wanna carry my own ass cushion around.
That episode of King of the Hill where Hank got the silicone pads to put in his pants has lived in my mind since I first saw it. I have been sorely tempted.
The moment someone said “You might develop an ass on HRT”, I was ready. The concept of having something back there besides the pointy bits of my pelvis sounds absolutely delightful. Then I’d just need something over the pair of daggers I call hips.
Right!? getting to have an ass is such a big appeal (amongst all the other benefits)
that’s a valid choice to make for which i would support you should you choose to go down that road !
I thought I had 0 ass for years. Just like you, nothing but bone. Pants always sliding right off me because I had nothing to hold them in place. Turns out, I actually just developed Posterior Pelvic Tilt from all the compensating I did for my bad ankles without realizing it. Also that apparently I have a really high waist and wide hips for a AMAB person and I’ve basically been wearing my pants way too low all this time.
I might be wrong and I’ll be gladly proven wrong with a study, but every time someone says I have a fast metabolism just because I just ate a huge ass pizza right before their eyes, hurts my soul. Everyone that has tolled me this so far has a drastically different lifestyle from me. I don’t eat that much most of the time, I often just get a salad or tuna sandwich. I also move my body a lot more, unless I absolutely have to use transit, I WALK. These people always cringe when I tell them I parked the car more than 5 mins of walking away and fucking refuse to walk to it with me.
I don’t know about the metabolism, but you are definitely wrong about the spelling of “told”
Never seen it spelled that way tbh. Impressive.
Told is the past tense of tell, tolled is the past tense of “to toll” like a fee for something. English sucks lol
Yeah I think there is a lot of misunderstanding by these individuals. Faster and slower metabolisms certainly exist (especially varying across values like age, sex, and hormone levels), but outside of medical science circles the “fast metabolism” label is often misapplied to situations like yours, which are much more concretely explained as a difference in lifestyle. :) Thanks for sharing.
Fast metabolism isn’t even a thing really. It has been proven to be pretty insignificant.
I don’t understand the post, but I have a “fast metabolism” according to my team of gastroenterologists trying to figure out what’s wrong with me. Normal people apparently don’t take a huge dump 8 hours after a colonosopy. Food isn’t supposed to be processed that fast, and it’s incredibly difficult for me to gain weight just by eating, I couldn’t eat that much if I tried. Weight training and lots of supplemental protein is the only way for me.
Thank you for sharing. :)
This is why I always find myself putting disclaimers on any diet related post now because so many people jump in with oversimplified misinformation like “fast metabolism is disproven.”
While the concept of a “fast metabolism” might be oversimplified, individual variations in metabolic rate are real and significant. Metabolism encompasses all the processes your body uses to convert food into energy and maintain vital functions. Factors like genetics, age, muscle mass, and hormone levels can influence how efficiently someone burns calories. For instance, people with more muscle mass generally have a higher basal metabolic rate (BMR) because muscle tissue requires more energy to maintain than fat tissue.
Moreover, hormonal differences, such as thyroid function, can significantly impact metabolism. While lifestyle factors like diet and physical activity play crucial roles in managing weight, metabolic rate can affect how easily someone gains or loses weight. So, while it’s important to focus on overall lifestyle, dismissing metabolic differences as insignificant overlooks a key aspect of how our bodies process energy.
The effects are not significant. They barely make a dent in what you can eat. Thyroid and other illnesses impacts appetite though.
This is getting closer to the correct nuance. Per Cleveland Clinic:
Someone with a fast metabolism or fast BMR burns a lot of calories even while at rest. If you have a slow metabolism or slow BMR, your body needs fewer calories to keep it going.
A fast metabolism does not necessarily lead to thinness. In fact, studies show that people with overweight/obesity often have fast metabolisms. Their bodies need more energy to keep basic body functions going.
It would be also good to add that thyroid disorders may lead to weight gain by means of metabolism change according to this source as well—it’s not just a matter of appetite.
Like 99.9999% of health, nuance is important and blanket statements like “fast metabolism has been disproven” are just… unhelpful.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15534426/
“In humans, the coefficient of variation in the components of total daily energy expenditure is around 5-8% for resting metabolic rate.”
That is nothing. That means the most extreme examples of this would be 200-300kcal. It’s often just used as an excuse for a bad diet. And people believing in this myth is hindering them in making informed decisions.
5-8% is not nothing and it’s crazy that you would say that. (for reference, 200kcal is half of a nutrisystem frozen meal or an entire icecream sandwich.)
i encourage you to advocate for informed lifestyle choices, but if you mean that the coefficient of variation is 5-8% for resting metabolic rate, just say that, and don’t just open with “it isn’t even a thing in reality.”
In my personal experience people judge it to be more like 25-100%. But I stand by 200kcal being nothing. It’s not a make it or break it kind of difference. 200kcal more doesn’t make someone obese or even fat. If you over eat by 200kcal a day it will take a long time to get fat and you will have years to intervene with a slight change that will fix it. And that would only be in the most extreme case. For most people we are talking about much less than 200kcal. If you have actually only a differnce of let’s say 50kcal from the median and cite that as a reason for being over or underweight it’s just wrong. But I have seen people use it as a reason so many times.
Just to add to this, nutritional labels (in the US at least) can have up to a 20% margin of error, which is a much more significant source of uncertainty.
ChatGPT?
I like to imagine this as just a shitpost tool where you can just paste any text anyone types to get a screenshot like this and instantly invalidate their argument
Or maybe that’s what this already is and I just WHOOSHed myself
Fr, like there must be a life hack
I always wonder how this is supposed to work, do these people just have food pass right through them and cause massive headaches for sewer system engineers? Or do they passively burn so much energy that they illuminate a dark room from sheer blackbody radiation?
