I mean, I still do some stupid and brainless things but I can own that stuff without fear.
The absolute worst is only being able to half-remember most of the stupid shit I did. That stuff still kinda haunts me, but in some ways, that is a necessary evil of sobriety.
This was just a random thought that I needed to write. Maybe it gives someone else something to hope for. Maybe it reminds others of why we choose not to drink. Regardless: IWNDWYT
It took a while for the phone checking reflex to go away with me. On occasion, I’ll still get startled awake, get that sinking feeling in my stomach and make a quick grab for my phone out of panic.
Even waking up now, not immediately recognizing where I am at or remembering when I fell asleep fills me with a moment of fear about “what happened last night??”.
Time has fixed most of that, thankfully. I haven’t felt the blood drain from my face in a while and I nearly forgot how that used to be part of my morning routine.