What’s your cadence for maintenance? Is there anything you think you should be doing more frequently? Is there anything you do extra proactively because you don’t like seeing it left undone?
I’m also curious about how much time you spend taking care of your home and how that balances with the rest of your personal life, and how you share the load with other people you live with.
I’m recovering from cancer and caring for my wife who has severe post traumatic stress as a result of natural disaster.
- I have a shower most days
- I get dressed most days
- I turn the dishwasher on when it’s full, and empty it when there’s no more room in the sink
- Occasionally I sweep and vacuum
- I mow the lawns every few weeks
That’s pretty much all I can do at the moment, but I’m slowly getting better.
this sounds like me but add in laundry like the dishwasher and nix the lawn as im in a condo. Honestly I spend more time going over finance type stuff which I try to look over each weekend.
Hey, just wanted to say: Fuck cancer, you beat its bitch ass to a pulp for good now, ya hear?
High odds he doubles his vacuuming for a good relationship, or gets his way and they ultimately break up. ( Most relationships die by bug bites. )
You can’t be a slob when sharing space with another person and expect success.
I think you replied to the wrong comment?
I actually started with this chore list, and we eventually ended up tweaking it to better suit our particular living conditions:
Done as needed, or as mood strikes. Generally everything stays clean, if not, the pressure and annoyance builts until it gets completed. Repeat.
Routines like that do not exist in my household
I remember a guy talking about moving in with his girlfriend. As single people she vaccumed once a week and he did once a month. She felt they should alternate every other week and he was like wait. Your vacumming half as much as you used to and now im vaccuming twice as much. He proposed he do once a month so he is working the same as before and she gets a week off. Was a guy from work so no idea how that eventually turned out.
Somebody missed the schoolhouse rock that explained “compromise”, what a dullard lol
Wait, I don’t get it. The alternative that the guy propose sounds like a win-win though? What if one of them likes vacuuming twice a week and the other once every month? What’s the right way to divide it fairly?
(I’m a woman who vacuum as needed.)
The goal wasnt to cause the least discomfort to both parties, the goal was to get the house vacuumed appropriately. What he was doing before isn’t relevant, because it wasn’t sufficient. What she was doing before isn’t relevant because she did more than necessary to reach a level of acceptable cleanliness.
So given the new amount, she wanted to split duties 50/50, he was focused on what he was doing before.
Yeah if you take sides on what the proper amount is initially its much easier to solve.
Sides?
I don’t think sides is the right word. Starting with an assumption of what the right amount of vacuuming is makes it easier.
The right amount depends on how fast they get dirty. She might have been right if her experience was with pets. His might have been if he was rarely at home. It depends on what their current combined situation is, and weekly or monthly could be reasonable amounts too.
It’s a win-win, if they view the relationship as just individuals with benefits.
The opposite end of the relationship spectrum is where you work together to advance both of your goals, happiness etc., like an amorphous blob.
In that case, the proposal of the girlfriend makes sense, because she presumably needs the once-a-week cleaning for her happiness and so they would work together on that, just as much as they would work together on something that primarily advances the guy’s happiness.People will often call the former a “transactional” relationship, and the latter “true love” or whatever, but ultimately, each relationship has to figure out what works best for them and where along the spectrum they want to be.
Biggest problem with this particular relationship is that the girlfriend seems to have a very different expectation than the guy.
My partner and I once sat down for like 3 hours and make a checklist of chores in todoist. Can ret reoccurring things with all different parameters… Sometimes I stay on top of it, but other times I play like 3 weeks of catch up on my day off…
Wow, lots of folks Roomba way more often than I do… I should get that guy going more often! I just get conflicted with it… I feel like I have to get everything off the floor for it… Perhaps I’ll try to let it run in a native environment.
I vacuum the house every day with roombas. It’s actually nice always walking on clean surfaces. The roombas have had some disasters but still worth.
Two months ago or so, I started wiping my floors about twice a week with a damp cloth, because I’ve got dust mite allergy, and yeah, the clean surfaces are crazy. When I’m not wearing socks, I can easily tell, if I haven’t wiped for a few days.
But also, everything else in my room collects dust much less quickly, I guess because I scoop it off the floor before it can settle everywhere else.
And my floor now also has this shine to it, which always makes it look like I’m trying to sell the place.
Household of 2 adults (me and my partner), where we mostly do things that we prefer. Personally I think I end up taking charge of things that he would do less often than I would.
- Shared: vacuum (1-2x a week), taking out trash/recycling (as needed), dishwashing, general cleaning (tables/countertops, dusting, etc)
- Partner: cook (2-3x a week), floor mopping (as needed)
- Me: laundry (as needed, ~1x a week), changing & washing towels (every 1-2 weeks), changing bed sheets (partner often helps, every 3-4 weeks)
how you share the load with other people you live with.
I do everything because the other two people I live with do nothing and are absolute pigs. No… I take that back. Pigs are cleaner.
Oh no! I hope you all can get along still anyway.
I do dishes and a light pickup pretty much every day, and a more thorough pickup once or twice a week. I have a couple of cleaners come to clean the floors, the kitchen, the tabletops, bathroom every other week. I have two robovacs that run every day. I do laundry about every week and a half. I keep the fridge clean of aging leftovers and whatever else at least once a week. I trim blackberry vines and ivy periodically but not nearly often enough. I brush the dog a couple of times a week. I water the plants/garden. I order or go out to buy household needs a couple of times a week.
Taking out trash/recycling/compost is supposed to be the husband’s job, but I do it here and there as he is forgetful/lazy.
I hire and schedule all of the cleaners, landscapers, contractors that we need for various tasks. A much bigger chore than it sounds. Easily my least favorite task. I don’t know how all of these businesses manage to remain in existence when they’re all so flaky.
When it gets bad enough that I have to ; )
Though we have been on a kick lately of washing dishes immediately after supper and not letting them pile up.
I have trouble consciously making and adhering to routines, so I’ve got an automated checklist that I attend to when I’m dissassociated enough to simply go through the motions. Some days, I even finish the list.
May I ask what kind of tool you use for the automated checklist?
Reminders for the checklist itself and Shortcuts for the automation, both on ios. A little embarassed to say I use an iphone, and I don’t have android analogues handy heheh.
