I am my gfs first partner, she is my second. The girl I dated prior (for 6 months) was a vlogger and for like 3 months made a lotta relationship and prank videos wth me which I was fine with at the time. Now my current gf is my first ever real crush and Ive been into her for a decade.

So my gf stalked my ex somehow, idk how consodering Im not on social media myself (this account is the literal exception). She then asked a LOT of questions about my ex, I dodged just about every question. After that she just pulled away and was distant and would barely talk to me or meet up. She finally told me she found my ex’s yt channel and watched every single thing on there.

Now I think Ive been VERY understanding and comforting to her, reassuring her literally every day since, being very loving and romantic to the point of cringing myself out. But she never really got over what she saw, idk if she rewatched that stuff or not but it was def smth thats always been in the back of her mind. She also knows that I broke up with my ex since I was moving countries and not bc the relationship was bad.

Now for the terrible part, smth i truly did not remember was that me and my ex had made a more personal video which was still saved somewhere on my laptop. I absolutely did not know of this and if I did I woulda gotten rid of it. Now my gf has access to my laptop (with my approval ofc) and she somehow stumbled upon it, I caught her curled up in my bed absolutely bawling her eyes out with the video playing on my desk. I have never felt this disgusting.

This is the first time my gf has denied my hug for comfort or just been so repulsed by me, she wont touch me while i explained everything, I deleted said video infront of her and begged her for a week. First she told me she needed to think things over but knowing her she wanted me chasing and I did just that, second week Ive given her space and theres been no change. We have had 2 dry 5 min convos in the last week.

How do I fix this or make it upto her???

Tl;dr: Gf found an old personal video involving an ex and wont talk to me anymore.

  • wedleeneeber@lemm.eeEnglish
    7·
    1 year ago

    I think the first partner second partner is key here. The rest is just the result of that. Natural curiosity into your past and no experience to understand where that curiosity inevitably leads is a recipe for despair and jealousy on her part. As someone who was on the other side of an…investigation… like this she does need to wake up and understand that right now, you are her partner. I wouldn’t just let her suffer though, try to be more outward in terms of your dedication to her. She seems sad in the same way a person feels when they have lost a competition. It hurts more because you know someone else had more/did better than you. So, compete! Unfortunately she has seen your old relationship in detail—likely a distorted version bc social media. Maybe try to tell her about things that weren’t great in your old relationship. Tell her things she does better than the old girl, maybe how much more attractive you find her. What’s killer here is the contrast between what she feels she has and what she feels the other girl had. Wash away that contrast, even flip it.