Title really. I don’t think I will ever have a traditional career (or path) because there are just too many things I want to do. Anyone with ADHD knows i’m sure, that when you even have so much as a few household chores to do, it can take you ages to even start. My problem kind of extends beyond the scope of little things, I seem to want so much out of life that it leaves me not wanting to do anything at all because it feels overbearing. I never finished college or chose a career because of this too, sometimes I get a goal in my head so it becomes my focus for some months then i get burnt out and move on to something else and it repeats in a circle.
Anyone else have a dusty box of arduinos and misc components they are absolutely 100% definitely going to make something cool with?
What were you going to build?
I feel you. I assume people with better management skills are able to triage tasks and goals in advance but I just let life filter out what I can’t get done. But this makes me feel super anxious, disappointed and guilty all the time.
I don’t think I am adhd, but I am neurodivergent (bipolar). I had a minor manic period for three or four weeks and am currently in a mild depression. I bought all these books and some computer equipment to further my pursuit of computer security work but now I’m just spinning my wheels and watching endless content online. It sucks but things could be a hell of a lot worse, so there’s that.
I hope you find something engaging and turn the corner. At least you’re interested in finding a change.
Absolutely, yes. I managed to get “has to be treated in a clinical setting as it’s actually exhaustion depression” burnout trying to keep a job in research. And I wondered for the longest time afterwards how on earth I am supposed to earn a living being that way.
It really helped to realize that as long as I can pay for rent, food and other basic needs, I am not actually required to a) stick with anything I do or any path I choose and b) be accountable for my life or “career” to anyone other than myself.
With that in mind, I am now trying to find another way - I read (among other things) the book “How to be everything” by Emilie wapnick, which is basically career advice for people who want/need to do lots of things instead of having one specialist career path. It helps you explore what you actually need in terms of money and free time and variety, and gives you some example ways of how you could structure your life to meet these needs, with pros and cons.
As a result, I now set myself on a track to qualify for a job field which would allow me to meet my modest financial needs by working part time (yes, it’s software development), while still being paid during qualification. I’m hopeful I’ll always find something interesting to do in that field without requiring that soon-burnt-out need-to-know-everything-about-it-NOW passion for it all the time (which was quite necessary in research to tolerate the shit working conditions, and which I cannot sustain), and allows for ample time and energy to cycle through temporal interests at my leisure.
I can’t tell you yet if this idea actually works out for me, but I feel that I’ve covered all my bases to be sure that it feasibly could (which included an internship to make sure the working conditions aren’t shit, as well. Discovered they can be, but aren’t everywhere, so I tried to keep where they wouldn’t be for the getting paid part). I’m really quite happy to be on the way to finding it out, though. I’m starting in September. Check back in 4 years and I can tell you for sure!
