This scares the shit out of me because I’ve seen women change their demeanor when they pick up on me being trans. It’s not a lot, but you can sense the change conversationally as well as the emotional walls going up.
I hate it and can’t wait for the day that other stealth trans women talk about a la being asked for pads/tampons, risk of being pregnant going into the hospital, stuff like that.
Yeah, don’t get me wrong, that side is wonderful. For me personally though, the problem is that it means my queerness is less visible to my own community. And the queer community is a whole lot more important to me than cishet acceptance is.
And, I’m also not sure that I’d do anything differently with a “do over”, but at the very least, I wish I’d have known about the difference it would create in my relationship with the community I value, so I could have factored that in to my approach.
(And I say this with the privilege of living in a safe city in a safe country, where cishet people knowing that I’m trans doesn’t open me up to danger)
This scares the shit out of me because I’ve seen women change their demeanor when they pick up on me being trans. It’s not a lot, but you can sense the change conversationally as well as the emotional walls going up.
I hate it and can’t wait for the day that other stealth trans women talk about a la being asked for pads/tampons, risk of being pregnant going into the hospital, stuff like that.
Yeah, don’t get me wrong, that side is wonderful. For me personally though, the problem is that it means my queerness is less visible to my own community. And the queer community is a whole lot more important to me than cishet acceptance is.
And, I’m also not sure that I’d do anything differently with a “do over”, but at the very least, I wish I’d have known about the difference it would create in my relationship with the community I value, so I could have factored that in to my approach.
(And I say this with the privilege of living in a safe city in a safe country, where cishet people knowing that I’m trans doesn’t open me up to danger)