The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/SuccessfulShip2224 on 2024-09-29 17:31:50.

My mom died when I (29f) was 8 and my sister (24f) was 3. Our dad was remarried 2 years later. My sister immediately bonded with dad’s second wife. While I was always distant with her. I didn’t like her vibe. To be honest looking back I know she was the way dad wanted her to be; ready and willing to step in and take over everything mom did. This made me mad but for my sister it was just natural. It was a year after they got married dad and Emily (his wife) sat us down and told us she’d love to legally adopt us and be our mom. I said no before they finished talking and I refused to hear them out. My sister said no as well. But she was saying no because of me and I knew it at the time but I didn’t try to reassure her she could say yes. This caused a strain between me and Emily because Emily felt really let down. My sister already called her mom. But she said no to making it legal. And I didn’t make it easy on her.

My sister and Emily were very close when I still lived there. My sister called Emily mom all the time. Never called her Emily or stepmom. She fully bonded with Emily. I never bonded and I was asked to leave right before I turned 18, because of all the issues between us, which I did happily.

I have seen my dad and Emily 5 times since. Each time it was sister’s birthday or something sister related like her graduation. Otherwise we have zero to do with each other. I didn’t invite either of them (dad or Emily) to my wedding. My sister was invited.

My sister is now engaged. We were talking a few weeks ago and she asked me if I’d have any of mom’s jewelry that I could let her wear to her wedding. She told me how she thought of mom a lot these days and she felt bad for completely disregarding her when she was younger. She said she imagines the kids she wants and it kills her to think of another woman fully replacing her if she dies. She also mentioned how in the last couple of years of living at home she asked about mom more and Emily clearly disliked it. And dad refused to talk about her. She said for her wedding she would feel wrong wearing something of Emily’s when Emily wanted to squash out mom’s memory. I told my sister she could have the necklace mom wore to her wedding and I wore to mine. That it could connect the three of us. She loved the idea.

Emily and dad are pissed. They feel like my sister is disrespecting Emily but they are also pissed at me and reached out for the first time in more than a decade to yell at me for successfully alienating my sister from Emily and destroying my sister’s only motherly relationship. They told me I only said yes to spite Emily and I’m shitty when my sister has called Emily mom almost her whole life.

AITA?