passenger 1 - “Oh crud. Our boat is sinking. We are in great peril indeed.”

captain - “We’re going to be okay everyone, just get into this liferaft.”

Pulls out liferaft with a huge fucking hole in it.

passenger 1 - “Is this the only liferaft we’ve got?”

captain - “Yes, but don’t worry about the hole, it won’t sink and we’ll be fine I promise.”

passenger 2 - “Hey guys, I have a liferaft over here that doesn’t have a hole in it.”

captain - “Guys, that’s not important right now. Our boat is sinking.”

passenger 1 - “Eh, I guess I’ll go in that one.”

passenger 3 - “Sure me too, captain says we should - wait where’s captain?”

Looks up, in the distance sees captain floating away on functional liferaft.

captain - “So long fuckers!”

Passengers board remaining liferaft, liferaft sinks, the passengers die.