I despise myself. I hate my laziness, entitlement, and lack of ability to work hard. But yet I know I have to tell myself I am enough. Because positive self talk does wonders and only with a positive view of myself will I be able to give positive things to the world. Yet I find it so difficult to praise and be proud of myself when I have so many flaws. It so hard to find a balance between self-love and being complacent, and I have’t figured out yet how to continue to push myself to be better everyday yet still be happy and proud of what I have already accomplished, because often it feels like I haven’t accomplished anything at all. You could say that I shouldn’t put so much pressure on myself, yet I always feel like all that would result in is me continuing to be the lazy piece of shit which I hate, leading to more negative thoughts. It seems like a cycle of self-sabotage but I don’t know what to do about it.

  • mrcleanup@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1·
    9 months ago

    I got suckered yesterday for over $1000.

    Hopefully you can look at that and remember that how you are is normal, beating yourself up mentally over mistakes is normal, wanting to do better is normal too. I’m sure trying to practice that right now.

    You can be full of flaws, but that doesn’t have to mean you are somehow deficient.

    You have my blessing to forgive yourself. I’m trying to do the same.

    • paysrenttobirds@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      2·
      9 months ago

      It can happen to anyone. Thanks for sharing.

      It helps me to think of guilt and shame as useful in generating empathy for others. If instead they make you feel separate or less than others, it is a form of vanity, a childlike belief that you could or should have more control than you do over life. This thought helps me let it go as this shame is not actually your better self looking down on you, but more like your child self crying over a broken banana.