Kind of a follow up from my question from a few days ago, for me just depresses me and usually I’m working or worried about stuff anyways so I don’t know how to enjoy festivities, plus being eternally alone without a partner makes things even sadder. Xmas is more of a post it of how much my life has failed.
I won’t lie, usually Christmas is my favorite time of year. Something about the music, getting to see all my family, and trying to find inventive ways to make friends and family happy through gifts always cheers me up. Never really had the money to go all out, but the spirit was there.
This year I just do not care. Usually I listen to dozens of hours of Christmas music and this year it is less than 2 hours so far. I’m not looking forward to giving or receiving gifts; it just feels so formulaic and rabidly consumerist. My usual comfort movies hold no interest for me. I’d skip it if I could. And all of that was before my grandmother died this past Saturday.