Kind of a follow up from my question from a few days ago, for me just depresses me and usually I’m working or worried about stuff anyways so I don’t know how to enjoy festivities, plus being eternally alone without a partner makes things even sadder. Xmas is more of a post it of how much my life has failed.
Stress.
Stress about all the money spent on a midnight feast that we’re too sleepy and tired to enjoy (our Christmas meal here is at 12mn, it cannot start earlier), the gifts and decorations, and the electricity of all the RGB lights strung around to make our family to be “with the community spirit”. Stress about not having the energy to be able to smile and be cheerful all the time, or else you’d be the subject of dinner conversations, how you’re not “making an effort to spread the holiday spirit”. And worst of all, the stress of not being able to sleep and rest due to all the merrymaking, singing, and overall noisemaking (fireworks tend to be fired at random here, and increasing in frequency as it draws closer to the end of December).
I used to look forward to the food, the seasonal food, and the feasting. But now that I’ve got to prepare all that food, taste it, make adjustments based on who is going to be coming for the Christmas dinner, it’s just draining.
What is supposed to be a season to be merry, to be hopeful, and all that good cheer, has become the very cause of all the sorry hopelessness and drear.
I’m sorry that sounds so overwhelming. Is there anyone you press into your service to help out? Also potluck is great for these things because then no one has to cook more than one thing.
My partner’s parents just straight up said they’re not hosting anymore because it’s too much work. It’s allowed.