The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Nat90 on 2024-12-25 02:59:57.

I am a first responder and have been for the last 3 years. My schedule is a rotating shift pattern (days/nights). The pattern is consistent and I can tell you what days I’m working very far in advance. Because of this, I told my entire family last year that I would be working on Christmas this year and reminded them when we saw them. This is the first time I have had to work on Christmas.

My side of the family understands and we are celebrating with just my parents and siblings another day.

My husband’s family is really into Christmas. Like everyone needs to be at SIL’s house at 8am to open presents together and then we spend the entire day together. So when I asked if we could celebrate together another day over the holidays instead it got shut down with statements like “Christmas is on December 25th.” or “I don’t understand, can’t you just ask for the day off?” So I let them know my husband would be attending solo this year.

This morning while I was at work, my husband (who works a 9-5 and is enjoying his day off) texts me “it would be nice if you could come by for a couple hours tomorrow after work…” I declined because:

  1. SIL lives ~90mins away, so that’s 3 hours of driving. I would be driving home alone at night with not the best weather.

  2. My job can be very stressful and my social battery is drained by the time I get home.

  3. We already agreed that it made more sense for me to stay home and to have him go to his parents house on Christmas Eve so they could drive over in the morning together…

Well my husband is pissed and thinks that I don’t want to spend time with his family. He’s been sending me passive aggressive texts all day trying to guilt trip me… “we don’t know how much time we have left with my parents…” It’s working because I feel like I’m letting everyone down and I don’t want his family to think I don’t want to spend Christmas with them.

WIBTAH if I stuck to our original plan instead of making an effort to go see his family tomorrow after work?