The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Shot-Calendar7774 on 2024-12-25 04:42:39.

I am a 20 year old female and am in a long term relationship and we are very serious about each other. In a year or two my boyfriend or I is going to move to the other. My boyfriend has a contract with a hospital that he signed before meeting me and if he leaves the hospital he will have to pay $10k unless he can find another hospital in the state I live in to cover it. If he can’t then I have considered moving up there for at least a few years for him to work off his contract. My boyfriend claims houses and apartments are way cheaper and more affordable but I haven’t been there myself yet because my mom doesn’t want me to travel alone so my boyfriend has to always come to me. I plan to fly up there soon tho since I got my mom to approve of it for an important event in his life. He already has a job set up there. I talked to my mom about this though and she said “that was not an option she wants me to be close to her, that I have never talked about this before so she truly believes he’s trying to push me to move to him instead of him move here”. I explained to her that he wasn’t, heck i honestly thought of this on my own but she doesn’t believe me and thinks he’s trying to take me away from my loving family and doesn’t think he’s the one because of this. My mom works really hard and she pays for my college and she said if I moved I would have to pay her back immediately all in full everything she spent on my college. She told me she didn’t raise me to abandon your family. My parents moved us 4 hours away from family when I was 13 and then 6 hours away when I was 16. I have lived in 4-5 cities and have moved houses like 12 times and my family is not in the military. I truly can’t imagine what it would be like living in the same town forever because I wasn’t raised like that. This is all just the back up plan if he can’t manage to move to me. My dad has always told me you never know when we might move again or we might stay here for a while. My parents claim that they are planning on staying in the same city now though. My mom thinks I’m being selfish since she works so hard to pay for my college but in reality I’m just trying to figure out what would be the best for my future, but I am scared to do the wrong thing. I know I’m only 20 but, I am thinking about the future if it works out when I’m 21-22. My boyfriend and I have a ton in common, accept each other’s flaws, and truly feel something special for each other but don’t want to do long distance forever. Am I being a selfish asshole to my parents?