I was reading some articles and wow, just wow, they hit hard. I’ve almost never not had toxic bosses, except one who I absolutely adored (but he lost his own job, not being willing to suck up appropriately), and yet lately I haven’t realized how bad my current situation has been!:-(
A not comprehensive listing could include:
- one who yells at people, both to their face and all the more so behind their backs, especially their own bosses
- highlights your weaknesses but ignores your strengths and also their own mistakes
- fails to tell you what they expect from you or give you the info you need to do the job yet expects you to magically fulfill their desires regardless
- is unrealistic, probably also disregarding work+life balance
- uses micromanagement or a culture of fear/intimidation; all communication with others must go to through them, possibly not even letting you listen in on the sidelines
- will not accept feedback or criticism
- takes credit for people’s work, especially when they don’t even understand what it is
- says hurtful/rude things, manipulative like the rules keep changing and you have no idea whatever is going on, basically lacks empathy
- plays favorites for people who suck up rather than actually are good at their tasks
Probably you can add to this list - these are just the ones my current boss does alone, but surely there are more?
How do you survive it? Personally I’ve been trying to bide my time to heal from emotional scars, so just doing whatever I can to get through each day/week.
I’m in a similar situation, and I’m wondering if I should get my resume together. I’d probably have to take a paycut at another job, but the amount disrespect at my current one is getting out of hand.
I would argue (even though I haven’t done it myself for a few years:-) that you should always have your resume together, just in case.
If nothing else, it will help make you feel less anxiety if anything were to happen.
And I would - and have - take(n) a pay cut in return for quality of life like that. It goes a little like: how much do people pay for a gym membership, or a doctor (physical) or therapist (ha! I mean assuming money were no object I suppose) to deal with the fall-out? Long-term it should be well worth it, imho.
My problem is that my gamble did not pay off, as I was forcibly transferred to someone else after being hired. Then again, if you get a good or bad gut feeling about a job before you jump ship, it should usually help? And even if you are not offered a job after an interview, the experience alone (either newly gained for a young person or keeping those skills sharp for an experienced one) is likely worthwhile.