I was reading some articles and wow, just wow, they hit hard. I’ve almost never not had toxic bosses, except one who I absolutely adored (but he lost his own job, not being willing to suck up appropriately), and yet lately I haven’t realized how bad my current situation has been!:-(
A not comprehensive listing could include:
- one who yells at people, both to their face and all the more so behind their backs, especially their own bosses
- highlights your weaknesses but ignores your strengths and also their own mistakes
- fails to tell you what they expect from you or give you the info you need to do the job yet expects you to magically fulfill their desires regardless
- is unrealistic, probably also disregarding work+life balance
- uses micromanagement or a culture of fear/intimidation; all communication with others must go to through them, possibly not even letting you listen in on the sidelines
- will not accept feedback or criticism
- takes credit for people’s work, especially when they don’t even understand what it is
- says hurtful/rude things, manipulative like the rules keep changing and you have no idea whatever is going on, basically lacks empathy
- plays favorites for people who suck up rather than actually are good at their tasks
Probably you can add to this list - these are just the ones my current boss does alone, but surely there are more?
How do you survive it? Personally I’ve been trying to bide my time to heal from emotional scars, so just doing whatever I can to get through each day/week.
I have overall been pretty lucky. I have had some pretty great bosses and ones that weren’t great were not bad by and large. Might be on a bad day and I know their bosses were not as good as them. Two exceptions. One I called the funnel. All he did was pour things down from on high but would not related any problems to those above him. When you brought up issues he just parroted whatever the most recent talking point from above him was. Another was a guy who owned the company. Curiously the boss I had before was great but he acted as a buffer and when he quit the owner figured he could save money by taking on his responsibilities rather than replacing him. His cheapness was the issue. He was great at spending money with clients to make it look like spend was high but would nickel and dime everything that was not visible. My previous boss had a relationship with him and could get him to see reason. I could not. Ultimately when another guy left and his project work was no were to be found (do to this guy getting rid of all sorts of backend stuff) he wanted me to take the fall. One of the only times I was fired and still the most pissed off I have been about a job.