I admit it. I couldn’t never pay the rent on my own. When I was younger I essentially stayed with whoever picked me. My marriage went on way too long because I needed to finish college/fieldwork or be stuck with a man who hated me and had someone ten years younger he’d gotten pregnant at college…funny that none of us could actually afford to leave each other until I graduated and got out of their way. Because of environment and poor decisions, I put myself and the kids through unforgivable stress. I’m in my thirties now, the kids are almost grown, and I make great money. But I’m an empty person. I’ll give them what I never had though, so they won’t be in relationships to pay their bills. I’m pretty sure one will be an engineer.
Sorry to read that, it seems economically if people can get to late 30’s paying little rent, having no mortgage they have saved money.
I’m 46 years old and so paying rent from here on till the end is cheaper than a mortgage.
Of course I could not have children.
Yeah I think you’re right. If I didn’t have the responsibilities I do, renting a smaller place until expiring would probably be my route.
I suppose once your kids have moved out, you could always try van dwelling. I did that, for fun, for three years and saw half the world. There is something special, it is in terms of “life style”, a true life style change. It is solar panels, double bed, 12 volt fridge, wifi, gas cookers / heating and an open road.
Same as people stay in unfulfilling, shitty jobs that pay less, just so they don’t risk losing health insurance or other “benefits.”
Double yeah
Ugh thanks for an unpleasant flashback :(
Ex was cheating all over town and my only choice for over six months was either put up with it or be homeless
I once told this story on reddit, and the majority consensus was that it was my fault for not working harder or whatever
smug redditors offering unsolicited “advice” are the absolute worst
You’re saying I shouldn’t divorce my wife because they forget to put the spices back on the rack?
lol, I have been thinking about rules for a competition where you go on reddit to see if you can get certain types of disproportionate responses:
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most innocuous foible for which someone recommends a divorce
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most inoffensive post about Japan that causes someone to complain about WW2 war crimes
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most reasonable mainstream position that causes someone to call you a tankie
any other suggestions?
Hi there, I see you mentioned Japan.
Did you know that Japan had concentration camps comparable to Nazi Germany during WW2? It was called Unit 731, where thousands of prisoners, mostly Chinese, were subjected to lethal tests involving diseases, vivisection, and other forms of torture. These experiments aimed to develop biological and chemical weapons, resulting in an estimated 200,000 to 300,000 deaths.
The more you know!
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Removed by mod
Whereas my unsolicited advice as a lemming is way more fun. So, to start with, im gonna need you to get an obsidian dagger, and look up where to buy live chickens.
Also, get some gloves, bleach, and antiemetics; this is gonna get messy.
why an obsidian dagger? do you have something against geologists?
why an obsidian dagger
Noob
something against geologists?
Yes but this is unrelated, how did you even make rhat connection?
Maybe they posted in an “advice” sub. That doesn’t make redditors not terrible at giving advice, just maybe it wasn’t unsolicited.
I had to help two friends who were in a similar situation, it was stressful for both of them to break up, knowing that there was housing insecurity. Getting all the arrangements together also took months.
Yup. It was traumatic enough that ever since then I’ve always made sure that my current partner always has enough money in an account under their name to be able to leave whenever they want. It’s nice knowing that they’re staying with me because they want to.
I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve ANY of that bullshit!
Sucks that you went through that. I’m not sure how I would have done that without getting in legal trouble.
Also, fuck the haters and trolls. People who don’t know shit always try to give their advice…so anyway here’s what you should have done…
Found out a month after buying our new house the reason we never saw our neighbors. They were in the midst of a divorce, but still living in the house, with the wife’s boyfriend. So visits were a bit awkward. Fortunately that was right after the housing crash, so they were only stuck in the house for 2 years.
A lovely young couple bought the place and spent a year renovating it to live in with their kid…then divorced 6 months later. I don’t think couples should live in that house any more, there’s too much bad juju stored up in the walls.
I dunno, renovating a house is hard, especially if you are living in it at the same time. You’d want to make sure your relationship is rock solid before attempting that. That said, kids are hard, you’d want to make sure your relationship is rock solid before attempting that, so yeah, maybe its the house …
There needs to be a one room at a time rule.
Women have almost always through history needed a male supporter for housing or they needed to live in family cooperative situations.
Hell I’m a man and I stayed dating a woman I should have left (because she was abusive) because I couldn’t have done without her part of the rent at the time. Shit happens ig. Got a new job and now I’m able to afford it alone, she’s gone, shit rules.
We know pre-farming societies were far more balanced between the sexes, if not outright matriarchical
When ‘women’s rights’ became a thing,and women could live as independent humans, young widows became an oddity.
I guess you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.
I think the rise in marriage age and reduction in wars also helped. Used to be a 21 year old mother of two lost her husband in some battle or workplace accident.
Killin your husband is a proud tradition we lrt go of as a people. It was like the one cool thing the heteros gave us. Maybe also half of freddie mercury.
Idk I’m a lot happier in a world where people can just leave. Like killing your abusive spouse when its your only option is one thing, but it’s a tragedy that it has to happen.
Generally, yes, but my dating life has suffered from a severe deficit of young widows, and im only juuuuust getting to the age where an older one might consider me.
There’s a damn good reason why we in the working class are gaslit and prodded into converting our romantic relationships into glorified labour arrangements (ie, marriage) as soon as possible - intimacy requires time and energy… time and energy that, under a capitalist system, must be spent labouring for the parasite class and nothing else.
It’s also the reason why any children that results from such intimate relationships must be mass-corraled into glorified creches (ie, our so-called “education system”) at the first opportune moment - we can’t have the working class spend any undue amount of time actually doing any parenting, now can we?
this is why more dv shelters/womens shelters need to offer vocational assistance
Capitalism doesn’t care about minutiae. It only cares about the end results. Unfortunately, minutiae is actual human lives in this case.
Quarterly profits. Not end result, or they’d build infrastructure.
So many decisions get made because you gotta make sure you secure a bag of some kind.
I’d guess most of history in most of the world was little different though. If you break relationship with the group of people providing food and shelter, you might have to figure out food and shelter on your own. As shitty as it is, smart people line up the next relationship before breaking off the old if they can’t do it on their own.
Is this your assumption about the ancirnt world, or did you actually read real archaeologists and anthropologists?
Wildly unbalanced capitalism without strong controls and social policy. All systems seem to fall prey to corruption because people try to corrupt the system to enrich themselves and their friends, then cement their gains with whatever power they can flex.
What exactly is it about “capitalism” that you like? What are you so attached to, that you wpuld contrive to keep something so fucked up?
The ability to invest in new ideas and advance them more rapidly thanks to the incentive of profit. Yeah, shitload of baggage comes with that when it’s not on a tight leash, but capitalism is excellent at seeking out new things to make money with. Technologies, meds, design, whatever. Patently obvious when you compare that to, say, quantum physics, which has no profitable ROI and constantly struggles for funding and thereby advances at a snail’s pace.
Most of our really important discoveries came from publicly funded research.
The internet wasn’t invented by capitalism.Don’t split hairs. I didn’t say discoveries.
So we can only get cool new stuff as the benefit of a scam?
Things that woukd imptove all our lives but not be profitable don’t get done.
Everything is deployed in the most extractive exploitative way. New things aren’t allowed to just be cool.
What if we just had a society that valued science and innovation and cool new efficiencies? All the benefit and then some, none of the costs. You can do that authoritarian (the ussr sucked in a lot of ways, but they kind of kicked ass at science, there’s a proof of concept, cuba punches above its weight class in that category too) or anarchic.
And thats more stable less contrived than a mythical ‘capitalism that responds to none of the incentives and does none of the behaviors of capitalism’.
Capitalism doesnt own science, did not invent it, isn’t even good for it.
Why the hyperbole? Why the binary choice? I have no real interest in defending unfettered capitalism, I argue for strict controls on it with strong social policy. However, you cannot deny that greed advances things very quickly, from shitty things like tiktok to Big Pharma pushing out a new drug that they can charge $10k USD a dose for.
What if…? My man, I would love a Star Trek TNG society where we are all above the pillaging of the Earth and each other for personal gain. But unless you have a plan to radically alter society in the near future your “what if” is fantasy.
unfettered
But that is where all capitalism eventually flows. There’s a snowball effect to it. As a system, it will always become roughly the same thing. It will always corrupt. It will always break the rules, it will always exploit. That’s the point of it. That’s what it’s for, more than the myths of innovation even if they were true.
cannot deny
Yes i can. You’ve been conned. Your example, Big Pharma doesnt invent drugs. They don’t invest in research. Like, i know you think i mean a small number, and it’s even less than that. New drugs come almost exclusively out of public funding and university labs. It comes from scientists who want to discover and improve the world. Then it gets owned. Sometimes. If it wouldn’t fuck up profits too much.
Do you know the story if why cannabis us illegal in the states?
a fantasy
Substantially less than your fettered capitalism
a plan
Not exactly, but i have principles and outlines, and part of that is not just imposing my will. Organizational technologies. Communication stuff. And there’s lots of cool options at various levels of proof, with roughly the same path to achieving them!
we need to be post scarcity to not be dicks to each other
That simply is not the case. Even in prison, there are solidarities. If you can’t be morally better than the people your society has locked in cages, whether you see them as damaged victims or monsters you cant share a world with, then you are the problem.
There’s a lot of mythology we just accept about how people behave in cisis, and it is more often than not precisely the opposite of the truth.
You sidestepped every bit of human nature and imposed your own reality. You ridiculously oversimplified how research and funding work.
Ok man. You’ve got it all sorted out. You got me.
you sidestepped every bit of human nature
Dude i fucking gave examples, and had (though did jot cite) sources.
Sorry, by human i mean ‘homo sapiens’ not ‘homo economicus’. Maybe we were just talking about different species. Easy mistake.
simplified how research and funding work
And also pointed out an entirely different system that also did everything you want with none of those same flaws, which did dominate a huge chunk of the world within living memory and still exists some places.
As opposed to your just-so magical thinking that wtote a childrens fairy tale from scratch. I think simplifying for a firum post is quite a bit more honest.
“But my version of Capitalism will work!”
As opposed to what system, after it’s been used for generations and shitty people have captured and twisted it?
Says every person designing the system to benefit themselves most.
The US seems like an increasingly bigger dystopia for every post about basic human rights that is a standard in the civilised world but they are lacking. But still they keep voting to let the billionaires rip them off decade after decade.
Voting, yeah that matters. The institutions are captured. If we ever won a vote, it would be thrown away ajd the oligarchy’s choice would be appointed.
Edit: ‘if’. In 2000 this happened explicitly.
And non-humans too 🙂
An iron curtain is not the tool to realize such truths. Let people roam, but with open eyes.
Yeah…
