I think the difference is the perceived energy barrier if one wanted to fool around on their partner if they a bi vs het.
A bi guy could, hypothetically, find a guy on grindr pretty much on a whim if he wanted to. This is a much lower barrier than straight guys face unless they seek a sex worker. If you are a woman in the early stages of dating someone, where you don’t know yet how much you can trust a guy, if a guy tells you he is bi that can come off as a higher cheating risk than a straight guy.
Straight guys dating a bi-girl don’t have a similar perceived risk increase. Early in the relationship, guys may not even see the potential of a bi-girl hooking up with a girl as ‘cheating’, vs a bonus for his enjoyment. But also - finding a new girl to date is considered harder than finding an interested guy. So the ‘cheating’ risk doesn’t feel that much higher for guys dating a bi-girl compared to a straight girl; he may feel like he is still mostly competing against other guys.
Is this fair or even realistic? No, this is based on perceived stereotypes rather than the behaviors and character of individuals.
But this plays out at a stage of dating where people don’t know each other well yet and are relying on heuristics.
It’s also that gay sex is gross, and lesbian sex is ‘hot’.
The policing around male sexuality is far more intense than it is around female sexuality. Also applies to sexual assault and statutory rape. a lady does it, NBD, if a guy does it, it’s a heinous act.
Further, how many people agonize about female pedophiles vs male pedophiles?
how many people agonize about female pedophiles vs male pedophiles?
What makes this statement even more horrifying is that more and more evidence is emerging that - like with cross-gender rape between adults - rates of pedophilia in the general population seems to be about 50/50 between the genders.
As in, it is equally as likely for a child to be preyed upon by a woman as a man.
And society doesn’t give two shits about female pedophiles or their victims. Hell, if the pedophile gets pregnant, the government will even gleefully re-victimize the victim on a monthly basis the moment he hits legal adulthood by forcing him to pay child support to his rapist.
Now, for the purest example of anti-male gender bigotry, examine the fury and outrage if the genders were reversed.
Seriously, if a female pedo gets pregnant by her victim, that child needs to be taken away from her and put up for adoption. No way a young victim should be held responsible because that bitch raped him.
Sorry, female pedos are as repulsive and degenerate as male pedos. All the stories of kiddie diddlers that are female teachers or nannies make me ill and inspire violence (which I refrain from) but they deserve to be locked up…for good.
So they prefer to be with someone who would cheat at the first occasion but the occasion is hard to find than with someone who has no problem to find an occasion but decides not to?
I’d rather be disappointed early than wasting years on a scumbag
To be fair, this kind of kinetics-as-pevention works.
I use this strategy to prevent eating too many snacks – I do not keep them at home. I can’t have them if they are not here. If 90% of the time I would “choose” not to have chips, not-having-them stops me the other 10%
Early in the relationship, guys may not even see the potential of a bi-girl hooking up with a girl as ‘cheating’, vs a bonus for his enjoyment.
Oh boy is that a land-mine I’ve stepped on.
A real, “wait I don’t understand what do you mean you’re in love with her?” moment that rang my bell back in my 20s. And then they ran off and got married. Which… hey, at some point how can you even be mad? They were clearly very happy together. Still sort of sucks to find out your axle was actually a third wheel.
I think the difference is the perceived energy barrier if one wanted to fool around on their partner if they a bi vs het.
A bi guy could, hypothetically, find a guy on grindr pretty much on a whim if he wanted to. This is a much lower barrier than straight guys face unless they seek a sex worker. If you are a woman in the early stages of dating someone, where you don’t know yet how much you can trust a guy, if a guy tells you he is bi that can come off as a higher cheating risk than a straight guy.
Straight guys dating a bi-girl don’t have a similar perceived risk increase. Early in the relationship, guys may not even see the potential of a bi-girl hooking up with a girl as ‘cheating’, vs a bonus for his enjoyment. But also - finding a new girl to date is considered harder than finding an interested guy. So the ‘cheating’ risk doesn’t feel that much higher for guys dating a bi-girl compared to a straight girl; he may feel like he is still mostly competing against other guys.
Is this fair or even realistic? No, this is based on perceived stereotypes rather than the behaviors and character of individuals.
But this plays out at a stage of dating where people don’t know each other well yet and are relying on heuristics.
It’s also that gay sex is gross, and lesbian sex is ‘hot’.
The policing around male sexuality is far more intense than it is around female sexuality. Also applies to sexual assault and statutory rape. a lady does it, NBD, if a guy does it, it’s a heinous act.
Further, how many people agonize about female pedophiles vs male pedophiles?
What makes this statement even more horrifying is that more and more evidence is emerging that - like with cross-gender rape between adults - rates of pedophilia in the general population seems to be about 50/50 between the genders.
As in, it is equally as likely for a child to be preyed upon by a woman as a man.
And society doesn’t give two shits about female pedophiles or their victims. Hell, if the pedophile gets pregnant, the government will even gleefully re-victimize the victim on a monthly basis the moment he hits legal adulthood by forcing him to pay child support to his rapist.
Now, for the purest example of anti-male gender bigotry, examine the fury and outrage if the genders were reversed.
Seriously, if a female pedo gets pregnant by her victim, that child needs to be taken away from her and put up for adoption. No way a young victim should be held responsible because that bitch raped him.
Sorry, female pedos are as repulsive and degenerate as male pedos. All the stories of kiddie diddlers that are female teachers or nannies make me ill and inspire violence (which I refrain from) but they deserve to be locked up…for good.
So they prefer to be with someone who would cheat at the first occasion but the occasion is hard to find than with someone who has no problem to find an occasion but decides not to?
I’d rather be disappointed early than wasting years on a scumbag
To be fair, this kind of kinetics-as-pevention works.
I use this strategy to prevent eating too many snacks – I do not keep them at home. I can’t have them if they are not here. If 90% of the time I would “choose” not to have chips, not-having-them stops me the other 10%
Oh boy is that a land-mine I’ve stepped on.
A real, “wait I don’t understand what do you mean you’re in love with her?” moment that rang my bell back in my 20s. And then they ran off and got married. Which… hey, at some point how can you even be mad? They were clearly very happy together. Still sort of sucks to find out your axle was actually a third wheel.