What a fuckin nerd.

That’s a whole lot of words to say “The only composer I can name is Wagner.”

This has got to be a set up for some kind of rent seeking behavior right? They’ll definitely create some kind of fast pass that costs $100 dollars a month that you’ll need to pass a background check, have a social security number, and a permanent address to obtain.

Legal theories don’t matter. They’ll just do it because fuck you that’s why. This should have been posted in the dunk tank.

Another win for the Beau Biden school of criminal prosecution.

Get you a man that looks at you the way Limanuel Miranda looks at Hillary Clinton.

New political compass just dropped.

Bush: Will attend, will say something innocuous but nice that liberals cannot shut up about for weeks.

Obama: Rolls up, struts his shit like he’s on the red carpet. Has a great time. Michelle and W. talk about the latest marvel movie or something. He makes one deniably cutting remark to a reporter before the service. Liberals shit their pants and print the quote on coffee mugs. His official remarks are a concise speech that covers all the usual bases and avoids particulars about Trump. He does the hate the man but respect the office bullshit. He gives a thirty minute interview with Jimmy Fallon the next night where he says nothing and promoted his new book or whatever.

Pence: Is in attendance, literally nobody talks to him.

Kamala: Does not attend. Liberals hoot n’ holler about it for a month, even after its revealed that her absence was becaise she overslept because of all the wine and xanax. This is all discovered after her team releases a video, a week afterbthe funeral, of a (poorly) deepfaked Kamala participating in a ribbon cutting ceremony for a school for undocumented child amputees. The school doesnt even exist.

Biden: You’re fucking braindead if you think he wouldnt be there. Unfortunately for the rest if us, he’s braindead too. He talks to one reporter before the service where he says a bunch of rambling bullshit about Trump being a president and that he was a tough opponent. He trails off after slurring some tiktok slang word his team tried to coach him to say to seem hip and with it. His team hurry him away and he does not talk to any other reporters. He wears sunglasses during the service despite being indoors. He makes no official statements.

Biden barely, and I mean barely gets enough electoral college votes to win the presidency later in November. Theres another Jan 6 type thing this time on inauguration day. Biden is taken to a safe house and gives his inauguration speech with a zoom logo in the corner of the screen. Three days later its a national tragedy when President Biden suffers a sudden heart attack and is declared dead. Kamala is delaclared president. She laughs her way through her oath of office.

Conspiracy theories spread like wildfire in the aftermath. With one in particular persisting, that Biden actually actually died of a stroke and we all witnessed the start of it on live TV at Trump’s funeral. His staff did a weekend at Bernie’s to get through the funeral then just kept him on ice through inauguration.

Sorry, I got a bit carried away there. I’ll back it up a bit and try to imagine something more realistic.

Two weeks after the funeral and one week after the release of the Deepfake Kamala video, made by her team to cover for her conspicuous absence at Trump’s funeral theres a mass shooting at a spanish immerson elementary school in colorado and the aforementioned video is mentioned in the shooters manifesto.

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Yeah at first you’re like damn this really kills my mojo. At least I was already in a long term relationship when I got mine, I think dating would be complicated with one.

Took about a week of getting used to but now it’s fine. It’s not as restricting as one might imagine. I even figured how to run mine off a reasonably small battery and have taken it backpacking.

(From another source)

You can almost hear them seething under their breath about tiktok teens through the computer monitor.

I can’t there’s lead in it.

I don’t know really, He just has a super annoying looking face. It didn’t help that the first time I saw his face it was in a promo for that baz lurman Elvis movie.

Austin Butler, I don’t like his face, I find it really upsetting.

I’ll never watch anything with that Elvis guys stupid fucking pouty face in it.

Whoa there feller! You’ll skeet your eye out with that thing!

Oh no you’re going to bring back the self hating white people discourse again.

America is absolutely going to see a large portion of more conservative Catholics break away from create a new ore horrifying vision of christianity, unified with evangelicals who wish their services had a bit more pomp and circumstance.

Thank you.