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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 15th, 2023

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  • Good grief, that might be the worst customer service job I’ve ever heard of. I’ve worked Sainsbury’s ‘head office’ - which was just the outsourced customer service centre for people who phone store chains to complain about cucumbers - and that was bad enough, but at least I got some good stories out of it (“My watermelon has exploded and I’m afraid of the second one. Can a man come round and take it away?” First ever call).

    You were getting Mail readers who are already a self-selecting group of thick cunts and you were getting the worst of them. Jesus Christ, that must have been rough. So, so happy for you that you’re out of that, I can’t imagine what that would do to someone’s mental health!


  • The second last time I went to a dentist, he told me I had been brushing my teeth wrong. Cool, bought the TeethIoniser5000 plus recommended toothpaste from his suggestion.

    Last time I went to the dentist, he told me that I was still brushing my teeth wrong. “But the last guy?”

    “Wrong. He was wrong.”

    Every fucking dentist has told me whatever way I brush my teeth, I’m doing it wrong, so fuck them. Now I just use my finger.

    Don’t do that, as I have one tooth left I use to open cans.