Some asshole had the idea to water a seed and now I have to pay taxes. Fuck that guy.

24hr clock supremacy

I actually have a SATA cable and power plug discreetly tucked in a spot in my PC case and have just taken the side off and plugged in a drive on occasion. It’s normal purpose is troubleshooting other hard drives, but it works for that too

When you’re 90% of the market you get away with telling everyone else to suck your dick.

A track record of beating trump?

Something about the statistical validity of a sample size of one.

If Samsung would just give me a phone with pure android and only Samsung pay, I would be so happy.

You know what I don’t want when I search for an email Microsoft? I don’t want your fucking suggestions about what I’m looking for.

Makes me wish my career wasn’t so fucking niche, for sure

Do acid, it’s cheap as fuck, lasts 12 hours, is generally a great time, and will allow introspection about your life

Their pronouns are cop/cops (or pig/pigs), so their gender should be irrelevant in this case.

The echo chamber they isolated themselves in after chapotraphouse got banned from reddit but before the great migration did not do them any favors. It’s a cesspit of self ratcheting extremism.

Nah this is perfect

Throw in some knob creek and I’m fucking sold

Everybody laughs until the seasons are no longer reliable enough to grow wheat, corn, or rice, and then suddenly 7.5 billion people starve to death over a two year period.

When you took an elective and it almost made you change majors

South Korean Employers:

“It’s free real estate.”

Whenever I see people bemoaning the system, (which I agree is fucked, overall) I always wonder if they’ve bothered to write/call/harass legislators? Because it’s sometimes surprising how much an angry person can accomplish when they decide to be a problem.

I set up targeted harassment of state legislators on reddit and twitter and managed to get weed legalized after it died in committee in the preceding five years.

I had never seen one before, and was just settling in after moving into my new apartment when my turn gf just screams and comes running into the kitchen saying, “there’s a horrible monster bug in the sink, ITS HUGE”

And unprepared for the Lovecraftian little horror waiting for me, expecting some kind of beetle or something, I was pretty shook up. Legitimately was scared to go into the kitchen at night after that.

I developed a theory because of these fuckers, which is that the scale of a things creepiness is based on how many legs it has and how fast they are.

I used to get them in my last apartment and when I saw one I literally couldn’t sleep until I knew it was dead

I’m convinced conservatives would vote for a potato if you put it in a Nazi arm band at this point.