Yes, I’m transfem. I huff E recreationally just to feel something

I don’t know if the last two blocks of text were an edit or I somehow missed them, but you’re right. I’ve done it before, my main fear is the possibility of her turning it around on me or prolonging the fight, but walking away is something I absolutely should exercise my right to do more. As for the last bit, Ive noticed she is a lot nicer to me in front of our friends, but she tends to justify it by saying its natural that she doesnt want to fight in front of our friends. Sometimes, I wish we would so we could get it out in a space where she can’t go full throttle on me

I really do think she is capable of being incredibly patient and sweet. I don’t say this to try to diminish her behavior at this point, I guess, but more to highlight how far she really swings. Regardless, I know deep down you’re right that the 95% doesn’t excuse the 5%. I guess at this stage, I have to work on dealing with the fact that I love her and don’t want to hurt her by leaving. I know I probably should, but that feels very difficult to do at the moment. I feel like couples therapy would probably go pretty poorly… I tend to be a bit quiet and reserved, and she is a force of charisma and very talkative. I can imagine therapy turning into a nightmare of its own, but it’s something to think about. Thank you for giving your thoughts, I really appreciate it <3

I know you are right, and it’s advice I’ve probably given to others in similar situations. I hold onto some hope that things don’t have to be this way, but also constantly reckon with the realization that I don’t imagine things getting better. I really love her and don’t want to lose her, but maybe that’s something I have to accept for my own sake. Thanks again <3

Thank you so much for the reply. I wasn’t aware of the concept of splitting, but this does resonate with her behavior. Sometimes, she talks to me like I’m her hero, like I’m always there for her when she needs me, tells me I’m the perfect partner, and deserve so much better than her. She will tell me I’m selfless, empathic, and too giving. In the next hour, she can be listing off through gritted teeth all the ways I’ve failed her, that I’m always selfish, immature, too occupied with myself, and devoid of empathy. I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells around her and over the years I find myself becoming so exhausted just speaking to her, even on a good day, when previously she was a place of comfort for me. It kills me that I even feel the way I do when I still absolutely love her to death. I’m really sorry you’ve dealt with something similar before, I know how exhausting it can be, and I really hope you’re in a better position now. I guess it’s just kind of hard to give myself permission to not support her when that’s one of the main things she criticizes me about when something goes wrong. Either way, this is really useful perspective, and as much as I hate to hear you’ve dealt with it as well it makes me feel a little less alone. Thank you so much for your reply

First of all, I want to sincerely thank you for reading this, I know it must have been a lot. I wouldn’t normally write this kind of thing because I don’t feel this kind of post can ever paint a totally accurate picture, but some of this stuff has left me feeling crazy and I desperately wanted some outside perspective. In the past, when I’ve brought this up to friends, they also mirrored a few of your sentiments. I told myself that it probably wasn’t abuse because sometimes things felt really great. As you say, I do feel like she doesn’t respect me when she is angry, but I always question in those circumstances whether I deserve respect at that moment. I don’t know how often these kinds of situations have to happen before it’s an issue, but I don’t really feel like it’s something I can talk with her about. She tends to take it very poorly if I try and mention something she has said has hurt me. Regardless, you’ve given me something to think about. Thank you again for bothering to comment, I really appreciate it.

I absolutely love classic roguelikes. I didn’t love ADOM despite playing it a fair amount, but I do love DCSS, Caves of Qud, Cogmind, Cataclysm, and quite a few more, albeit to a lesser degree. I love games that demand you learn their systems inside and out to even have a chance at winning. I love the sense of stakes that roguelikes create and the experiences that emerge from the fear of losing everything. I also generally tend to be quite critical of heavy RNG elements in roguelikes and I fucking hate deckbuilder games in general, but I like having to measure and mitigate the risk of unexpected and unfavorable situations on the fly and come up with impromptu solutions to interesting problems. Loss is expected, and while you can learn from loss, sometimes you’re left feeling like the cards just weren’t in your favour, and I think that’s something that a lot of people who play these kinds of games just come to accept. A lot of people see it as senseless masochism, but in my experience with the games I’ve listed above, losing can genuinely be fun. There is a sense of loss, but these games to me are also in part story generators. I’ve had many experiences in all of them that I remember very fondly, and a lot of those stories end with loss.

My particular fixation with them might be because of autism though. I have well over a thousand hours in several (probably multiple thousand in Cata) and tend to come back to them for comfort, so I probably just really like bad games

The best course of action is just to tell your doctor you made a mistake with your last injection and how much you injected. The solution might be as simple as moving your test back a week, but its essential they have an accurate picture of what’s going on anyways

Oh, I’m sure we were in the minority, I just thought it was amusing enough to bring up. My group did experience quite a few bugs but not much I would call major.

I really didn’t walk away from the game my first handful of hours thinking it was more polished than BG3 on release. I had to bail from our MP game because my inventory was rapidly filling with undroppable self replicating meat lmao

If you mean the thing about them refusing to pick up ammo, yeah, it was fixed a bit ago. They can still be a little fiddly, but it isn’t a nightmare getting an archery squad working like it was before.

It’s definitely possible to get the PC game running with some patience.

https://www.pcgamingwiki.com/wiki/Deadly_Premonition:_The_Director's_Cut

PCGW has a good page on most of the PC version’s critical issues and candidate fixes, and as you can probably see, there are quite a few. Getting it running in the first place was the hardest part for me. Once you get it running, just refer to the wiki now and then to watch for problematic points in the game and how to best avoid crashes.

As for emulation, I have no idea. I do know that the console versions are supposed to be quite messy themselves, though, so I would guess it won’t be a much better experience.

I think Dwarf Fortress’s Steam release, for all its issues, has made it a lot more accessible to a casual audience, especially in the wake of the great success of games like Rimworld. That said, it’s still quite an undertaking to pick up and learn. Cataclysm has definitely always been a hard sell to others, though. Usually, their interest wanes as soon as they look up a screenshot. On the rare occasions that I’ve convinced someone to boot it up, they’ve just walked into the sight range of a mi-go or something and immediately died and lost interest. There’s so much to talk about when it comes to both of them, but no one to talk about them with :(

Deadly Premonition. It has a cast of very charming and surprisingly well written characters alongside a fascinating mindfuck of a story that is very much unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced. Heavily inspired by David Lynch’s Twin Peaks and the closest I’ve seen another piece of media come to recapturing its dreamy, surreal vibes. Has a cult following despite being an absolutely shit game by all reasonable metrics. The combat is atrocious, it’s unfathomably buggy, you’re forced to drive between locations in a janky ass car, and the driving is like pulling teeth. It’s really quite an unpleasant game to play for many reasons, and that’s if you even get the game to run; the PC port is basically unplayable and requires a fuckton of fiddling on newer systems. Despite all that, it’s an experience I remember very fondly. Just don’t know if I’ll be booting it up for another run in the next decade.

Yeah, Amogus is essentially an ultra-simplified version of Space Station 13, and Barotrauma could be argued to be the same. Tasks in Among Us are really simple, but jobs in Space Station 13 tend to be complex, open-ended, roleplay heavy, or all of the above. You can spend hundreds of hours in SS13 mastering a single job, and that mechanical depth combined with the sheer chaos that can break out at any moment is why people play SS13

Lossy means that data is lost on encoding, so the original quality of the recording will be compromised in some fashion.

FLAC is superior to WAV because it’s still lossless but compressed so the files take up less space.

That’s one of the more embarrassing things I’ve seen an adult write on the internet

By left-leaning they mean leaning 2° left of total fascism

What age do I have to hit before I become so bitter and joyless?

Sure one might change their behaviors when traveling accordingly, but I think people would be generally understanding if an American tried to tip in the UK, and I would hope a waitress in America would understand why someone from the UK might not tip. With federation that cultural overlap is even more understandable because it’s not like I’m getting on a plane and traveling across the ocean, I’m just clicking a link that was already on my All on Hexbear. We’re also a lot larger/more active of an instance with almost quadruple the active monthly users of lemm.ee, and Hexbear has been around for about 3 years. A lot of the “brigading” people see is just the result of there being many active bears + this stuff showing up on our feeds + it being directly about us. When you consider all of these things, does it make a bit more sense why we might show up like a swarm of locusts throwing around our own inside jokes?