charlie [any, any]

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 5th, 2023

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  • In my experience

    Is it because I have no family member to pull a nepotism scheme for me?

    Outside of the outright discrimination that goes on, this is maybe the biggest factor. There is nothing wrong with you. cat-trans

    There is everything wrong with how hiring works. My team of 15 coworkers, 13 are nepo hires. Other teams I interact with are also mostly nepo hires. My first job was at a restaurant and my step-dad knew the owner. My current job I got because I knew somebody that worked there through a friend of my spouse.

    If I lost my job, I honestly don’t know how I would get another besides calling everyone I know and asking for referrals









  • I don’t know if this is helpful, but I hope a little at least.

    Basically the way I was raised and how I learned to mask to fit in was so at odds with who I wanted to be, that I didn’t fit in with who I wanted to fit in with, and I stopped fitting in with who I used to fit in with when I tried to unlearn my masking behavior. I had so much trouble trying to fit in with new groups, I think because I would try and mask to fit in since I didn’t know how to “be myself.” I had never felt more out of place, so I retreated inward and started smoking a lot of weed and getting introspective. I still feel out of place regardless of the group I’m in or who I’m talking to, but I don’t feel out of place when I’m alone anymore and I think I can be content with that.


  • charlie [any, any]@hexbear.nettochat@hexbear.netI belong nowhere.
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    6 months ago

    This really resonates with me, thanks for sharing :)

    But being able to amuse yourself with your own weirdness was really useful to me, and I think it made people like me more (though I could just be imagining it.

    Especially this part. I noticed a tendency with my spouse where she tries to mask her weirdness even when she’s alone, and that causes me to notice the same thing with myself. We’re improving :)