For reference, a mature colony of honey bees usually numbers around 40,000. That’s 1.5 colonies of bees.

I’m pretty sure that the fox in fox news actually comes from a mispronunciation of the word faux. Faux news.

American Jesus

(noun)

pronounced Jee-bus

My parents have one in their garage somewhere

When I was younger, I used to throw grasshoppers into pens full of baby chicks where they would tear the grasshoppers limb from limb. Also, rats used to live in the henhouse but they don’t anymore because the hens killed all the rats.

I was about to say golf courses, but then I realized that people actually use golf courses to play golf, which is more then the average lawn is used for.

My highschool had a bunch of classes based around welding and working with metal

nshitia

“But diamonds are forever, don’t you want to show your partner how your love for them is forever too?”

No they fucking aren’t, heat one and hit it with a jet of oxygen and it’ll burn like any other chunk of carbon.

Not sure if this counts, but on my install of nobara whenever I hover over an icon in the home bar it relocates to the bottom left corner of the screen, leaving an empty space. I can still interact with apps by clicking on the empty space where the icon used to be so it doesn’t brick my home bar, it’s just really annoying.

If your hot-dog tastes

Like a piece of wood

Who’re you gonna call?

GHOST MUSTARD!

Playing medic is simultaneously the best and the worst thing in the game

Sceevy

Art of the meal

Um acktsually you could manipulate the keyboard with a low-powered pellet gun

My parents pay like 40 dollars per month for 1Mb down and like .2 Mb up

I used to have 1000 tabs open on Firefox, it started having stability issues at ~800 and finally crashed for the final time and refused to reopen my tabs at around 1200 (which I assume is because it ran out of memory). However, Amazon’s Silk Browser is fucking indestructible. I have at least 10,000 tabs open on a 10-year old Kindle Fire with minimal performance issues, and the only problem I’m having is that I can’t back up the tabs as URLs in a text file or something in preparation for the kindle fire finally kicking the bucket.

One second, let me try to recreate Ron “I lost a presidential bid to an orangutan” Desantis’s thought process:

Inhale

WE HAVE TO BAN FAKE MEAT BECAUSE ITS MADE BY LIBERAL WOKE COMMUNIST SCIENTISTS THAT WILL LACE IT WITH TRANSGENDERISM AND TURN OUR KIDS GAY OUR REAL AMERICAN KIDS SHOULD ONLY EAT REAL AMERICAN MEAT

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go disinfect my mouth

Unlike billionaires, some parasites are beneficial to humanity (there’s a species of wasp that lays its eggs in plant-destroying caterpillars, and leeches can be used as bait while fishing).

Republicans try to increase birth rates, but end up blocking IVF instead:

“It hurt itself in its confusion stupidity!”