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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • I would tend to agree with this approach. And if defederation is used, I wonder if it would be a good idea to defederate for a set period of time until a set date where the defederation will be reevaluated. I think everyone needs an off-ramp for their behavior to change, and that communicates that we’re open to interacting as long as they do so in a way that respectfully meets our code of conduct.


  • Lotta good stuff there, but two things in response: First, I’m not so sure that people being comfortable with the idea of men being the abuser in most intimate partner violence situations is all that shocking. There is a long history of sexism, including systemic sexism, from men against women, dating back to Hammurabi’s Code. I think there’s a bit of an earned reputation there unfortunately.

    Second, I would very much not lump self-defense into the category of domestic violence, as that equates the survivor’s attempts to protect themselves as similar or equal to a pattern of intensely destructive behaviors meant to gain power and control over them. The two are not remotely equal, and whether “mutually abusive” relationships even exist is still debated because of the dynamics of abusers and abusive tactics.






  • To spare others the same googling: 175f = 79.4c, 180f = 82.2c.

    What you’re doing is called cupping! I’ve seen it used mostly to set up tastings of multiple different coffees at once. Generally it’s recommended to stir the crust at some point so that the grounds fall to the bottom of the cup. Also, you’re brewing at a pretty low temp though. Even for dark roasts, I would consider brewing a touch hotter and see what you think.