Wonder which model Samsung it was…

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*SovCit hurt itself in its confusion!”

Oh no. Why did you have to post this?

Hollywood, 2 seconds from now

“Coming in 2025! You’ve seen Cocaine Bear, now come see Cocaine Shark! Starring Seth Rogan, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, a pile of sweaty hockey gear and 57 tons of raw sewage, it’s Cocaine Bear! The movie no one asked for, starring actors with no discernible talent or appeal. Buy you tickets now!”

Privacy.com is your friend. Free and makes ‘uncancellable’ subscriptions a thing of the past

I feel slightly better knowing that the Chinese suffer from Chinesium-based products as much as we do.

Are Xbox players paste-eaters or something?

🎶Who lives in a nightmare under the sea?🎶

It’s like a half hour long fever dream…

Jilanico for President 2024

They should have made the ban take effect immediately, with the possibility of being turned back on after sale.

His name is Herman. Now you know him.

Pretty soon it’ll be “Asteroid the size of your mom headed towards Earth”…

Moon hummus…

Conversation in a future space Starbucks: Me: “I’d like a triple grande, soy, no foam latte in a to-go vulva.” Barista: “Yes sir…”

Conversation in my local Starbucks tomorrow: Me: “I’d like a triple grande, soy, no foam latte in a to-go vulva.” Barista: “Sir, I have a taser and pepper spray, if you leave now, I won’t call the cops.”

Spiderman: Applies for a home mortgage Spiderman: Home Town Buffet Spiderman: Home Shopping Network

When I see how some women were treated in the 50’s, I get the feeling the scariest thing to many men would be a woman they couldn’t command.

Smashing Pumpkins: Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

R.E.M. - Automatic for the people

Is it too much to ask for a Godzilla movie where he and king king go to a coffee shop and pretentiously sip stadium-sized espressos while animatedly discussing which philosophers would best perform a rail grind down the worlds longest handrail while whistling “Country Roads” by John Denver and juggling a piece of the original cross, the Loch Ness Monster’s kidney stone and a VHS tape containing the last remaining copy of a deleted scene from Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood where he laughs at a fart. 10/10 would watch.