So interesting to be at the stage I’m in where labels don’t really help anymore? I’m coming up on 2 years since I came out and just. I’m nonbinary and genderfluid and a million other things but I don’t really vibe with those labels so it’s all kind of whatever. The last label I really vibed with in a way that was helpful and clarifying was butch, and it feels like everything else gets encompassed by that.
The genderfluidity is weird though, I’ve realized it’s very very tied to my monthly cycle. Like for a week to a week and a half surrounding my period, I suddenly feel like a different person, and a much more fem person at that. Helpful for knowing when it’s a good idea to take some prog, though lol. But it was really really disorienting when it started happening, it made me doubt EVERYTHING I’d started to figure out about myself
Oh also bottom dysphoria is really really kicking my ass lately. I wish the bottom surgery process wasn’t so long. At least my therapist was able to get me my first letter, but I’m really making no progress in the other parts, I’m still on a waitlist just to see a PCP
The genderfluidity is weird though, I’ve realized it’s very very tied to my monthly cycle.
Thank you for sharing this! I’ve been having an interesting parallel experience where my gender expression feels pretty tied to my level of anxiety. For a long time I felt really stuck on labels and feeling like my gender was ‘illegitimate’ because it was tied to something so flexible. But recently, I’ve been able to let go of those feelings and accept that just because I can’t really control the forces influencing my identity, or they are external to me making an active decision, that that doesn’t make my expression less valid.
God I hear you. For me, I became so much happier when I stopped searching for proof or validation of my identity. When I realized there’s not some metaphysical essence of transness that I might or might not have, I became so much more able to actually explore my gender and expression
So interesting to be at the stage I’m in where labels don’t really help anymore? I’m coming up on 2 years since I came out and just. I’m nonbinary and genderfluid and a million other things but I don’t really vibe with those labels so it’s all kind of whatever. The last label I really vibed with in a way that was helpful and clarifying was butch, and it feels like everything else gets encompassed by that.
The genderfluidity is weird though, I’ve realized it’s very very tied to my monthly cycle. Like for a week to a week and a half surrounding my period, I suddenly feel like a different person, and a much more fem person at that. Helpful for knowing when it’s a good idea to take some prog, though lol. But it was really really disorienting when it started happening, it made me doubt EVERYTHING I’d started to figure out about myself
Oh also bottom dysphoria is really really kicking my ass lately. I wish the bottom surgery process wasn’t so long. At least my therapist was able to get me my first letter, but I’m really making no progress in the other parts, I’m still on a waitlist just to see a PCP
Thank you for sharing this! I’ve been having an interesting parallel experience where my gender expression feels pretty tied to my level of anxiety. For a long time I felt really stuck on labels and feeling like my gender was ‘illegitimate’ because it was tied to something so flexible. But recently, I’ve been able to let go of those feelings and accept that just because I can’t really control the forces influencing my identity, or they are external to me making an active decision, that that doesn’t make my expression less valid.
God I hear you. For me, I became so much happier when I stopped searching for proof or validation of my identity. When I realized there’s not some metaphysical essence of transness that I might or might not have, I became so much more able to actually explore my gender and expression