• CaptainEffort@sh.itjust.works
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      10 months ago

      I don’t judge the age difference as long as they’re both adults. What two consenting adults do is up to them, it’s none of my business.

      • Socsa@sh.itjust.works
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        10 months ago

        It depends on the relative power imbalance at this point. If a 20 year old is out at bars going home with 50 year old dudes, then slay queen. If it’s 20 year old secretary with 50 year old boss, then there’s a much higher chance that the situation is fucked, though still not 100% I suppose.

        • madcaesar@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          I’m always conflicted on the sugar daddy scenario. I mean if a woman is attractive and wants to leverage that into a relationship that makes her financially comfortable, who am I to say no?

      • TheDoozer@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Oh, I judge, particularly the older person, but not in some moralistic way. But in a “if at 50 you can have a romantic or sexual relationship, even temporarily, with an 18-year-old, I have some unflattering views of you.”

      • caseyweederman@lemmy.ca
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        10 months ago

        Hey is that Oyasumi Punpun?

        I couldn’t remember the name and I am amused that the search string “sad bird manga” worked.

      • stebo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        10 months ago

        A relationship between a 20 yo and a 17 yo isn’t unethical. It’s not like we magically become more mature once we turn 18.

        • Serinus@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          You kind of do. People change a lot after being in a major new phase of their life for a year.

          I’m not going to say 17 and 20 is outright unethical. It’s possible for that to have been a freshman and junior in high school who had a long term relationship. They’re not required to break up.

          But a 20 year old meeting a 17 year old is significantly more creepy, and is likely due to the power imbalance.

          • stebo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            10 months ago

            People change a lot after being in a major new phase of their life for a year.

            What is this major new phase you’re talking about? graduating high school? I fail to see how that’s related to relationships. Also some people graduate earlier or later.

            But a 20 year old meeting a 17 year old is significantly more creepy

            Is an 18 year old meeting a 17 year old also creepy? Where do you put the limit? Why is a 30 year old meeting an 18 year old suddenly ok?

      • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
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        10 months ago

        If I recall correctly, over here once the person reaches the age of consent (16) it’s considered legally acceptable if the different is + 4 years, meaning a 20 years old couldn’t be accused of being a pedo if they were going out with a consenting 16 years old…

        They just need to remember to not be idiots and not to share pictures…

    • banneryear1868@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      I dunno I had a girlfriend who was 34-36 when I was 21-23 and it wasn’t weird or anything, still friends many years later even though we have our own families now. She got carded buying alcohol more than me so it’s not like it was obvious though.

    • fat_stig@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      What if half my age plus 7 is 6 months less than my other half’s age? Too close?

      • hydrospanner@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        They literally said that was the acceptable range.

        You said your SO fails within that range.

        Ergo, that’s acceptable.

        …as the original comment said, “Shit’s not hard.”

        • fat_stig@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          But 10 years ago when we met it would have been outside that range.

          Half my age plus 7 would have been 4.5 years older then her age then. How can it be acceptable now, but not then?

          • hydrospanner@lemmy.world
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            10 months ago

            That’s literally how the formula is intended to work, since any given age difference means less the older the two parties are (ie. a 40 year old married to a 50 year old is no big deal, but that same couple at 16 age 26 years old is creepy, and illegally so).

            If your partner was 4.5 years outside of the formula range when you met (and assuming when you met is when you started dating…not some stupid gotcha like “we met at church when I was a teenager and they were a young child, and we didn’t see each other romantically for another 15 years! Haha!”) it’s probably a situation where it was indeed eyebrow raising when you started dating.