I met this guy via a dating app when I was 23 (Working) and he was 25 (Graphic Designer/Video Editor). We had a good time and think he carried conversations well and there weren’t any red flags. And tbh, I was only hesitating to date him bcs I didn’t particularly like his looks- and I was afraid that I won’t be 100% in the relationship - scared to introduce him to my friends etc (I think I was being so superficial about this). At this point, we haven’t had a physical meet-up yet, not even a phone call. But we ended up dating anyway after about 5 months of talking (still online).
Then he disappeared. I left him messages about how I felt disrespected bcs he ghosted me and how it felt that what we had didn’t matter (sort of). Anyways he came back after about 3-4 months. And I entertained him bcs I wasn’t talking to anyone else and I somehow felt like it’s not nice to leave people on read/hanging? Idk I have this thing with appreciating a friendship/relationship and not leaving people hanging. Or maybe I was just lonely.
We got to talking again and the cycle continues (he went missing and came back). This went on multiple times for 2 years (until 2023). And most recently, we talked about how toxic it was and why we kept on wanting to try again. Mostly for me, bcs I felt like we haven’t even done anything together, not even meeting up yet, so it felt like I was heartbroken for nothing (at least we should’ve had a proper relationship before ending things). He agreed to the same - and we also agreed that he keeps on coming back for the thrill and fun and I also stayed bcs I haven’t found someone who I can really click with. So we got back to talking about having a relationship, and I stressed that it’s important to me to have at least daily check-ins and let’s finally meet. But he couldn’t fulfil it just like before (but he always had the time to post on Instagram and watch soccer when he didn’t reply to me!) and he went missing again.
I kinda miss him and the familiarity of our relationship. I know if I text him, he’ll definitely come back. But reminding myself that none of us would change (him coming and leaving and me hurting him with my words) and asking myself, what do I want out of it, is it worth it? Maybe I just want some drama in my life so it’s not so plain & boring everyday haha
You must log in or register to comment.
Those are good questions to have. Real talk though: I don’t think you’re actually into him. You’re just used to him. That’s… Not something to have a relationship over. Ok, maybe not being into his looks is shallow, but like, put the shoe on the other foot: you want someone simply layan you because you’re there even tho physically you don’t excite his senses? :/ Gotta be fair to him also, and to you. And your pattern of communications feel like a mismatch because tbh ok, sure, different habits, but you’re not really into each other. That’s why you both coming at this so berkira.
If this was a AITA post, the answer is yes. You don’t actually like him but are just texting him because he will layan you (in a few weeks or months when he comes back). You are just seeking attention. Delete his contact and saved chat history and just move on and find someone else.
Why waste both of your if you know this cycle will only continue? Why torture yourself? Do yourself and him a favour, don’t call him.
Maybe look into getting counselling to understand the reason you’re willingly getting into an unhealthy situation, and work on yourself instead.
