To be honest I think one of the many reasons I’m trans is I felt dirty when I thought about being with a woman, as a man. I daydreamed of being in a lesbian relationship constantly, but when I thought of myself pre-awakening being with a woman, I felt like a rat, pervert, and creep. I always felt like I was some diseased plague carrier and having a relationship with anyone, especially women,would just make it obvious that that is what I was. Maybe I was thinking of my dick in the same terms as mentioned in OPs post.

Since transitioning my relationships are getting much better, I have a few partners of varying genders.